Waisted in the Wasteland

Read All About It

2008-02-16T12:15:00.000-08:00

Sorry to have been absent lately. I've been going back and forth as to whether I wanted to keep this blog going or not.

I've finally decided, at least for now, the answer is "not." I've been floundering as to what this blog should actually be about. While still a proponent of moderate-to-low-carb living, I'm actually doing Weight Watchers (gasp! horror!)because it allows/forces me to be accountable each week for what I eat and gives me a lot of freedom to just live.

So, bye for now. In the meantime, I invite you to join me at my books blog, As the Bookworm Turns, where I'm still working out a style but expect to find my own sarcastic voice before long.

Ignorant Jerks

2008-02-12T12:15:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I just read something that pushes my buttons, you know what I mean? So, here's my Ignorant Jerk of the Day.

Mardi Gras Mambo

2008-02-12T12:14:00.000-08:00

I'm back from Mardi Gras, not too much worse for wear, and think I kept the junkfood in check. There was a fabulous repast of turtle soup, beef tournedos and -- so, sue me -- bread pudding souffle with whiskey sauce, all from Commander's Palace on Lundi Gras.

Anyhoo, I'm recuperating and trying to get back in the groove at work. In the meantime, here are some Mardi Gras 2008 memories...

Ruminations Friday. Well, Almost.

2008-01-31T12:13:00.000-08:00

I'm off early tomorrow for Mardi Gras and won't be back online till next Thursday, so I'm having "Ruminations Friday" a little early this week. The best and worst from my bookmarks....

* Forget the tax rebate checks the feds are promising us. The British government has the right idea. Reward people for losing weight by paying them. "Money for Weight" was one of a number of ideas put forth, along with such boring and sensible things as locating fast-food restaurants farther from schools. But the school idea is aimed at kids; the money is aimed at overweight adults. Let's see, at $1 per pound, I could make....

* Ever wonder how cows feel about low carb? Just ask Runaway Steer, a big beefy guy who escaped from a slaughterhouse in Cincinnati. I was having fun thinking about this, imagining Big Beef on the rampage through urban Ohio, when I read that this is a repeat incident--a steer named Little Red escaped in the Cincinnati area last year. Now I'm wondering what it is with Ohio and cows...

* As if hauling my own big butt around isn't enough, now I can "exercise" throughout the day by wearing myPower Diet Shoes. These are athletic shoes with weights in the insole, so you lug around a few extra pounds as you shop for groceries or, as the photo on the website shows, as you jog through the sand on an isolated beach. And don't we all do that?

* Leave it to the spoilsport Aussies to tell us that, after all, chocolate isn't good for us. Now that they're slipping dark chocolate into everything under the sun, this study from the University of Western Australia says that consuming cocoa can lead to bone weakening in women due to the oxalate in the cocoa that leeches calcium. I say, just put extra calcium in the chocolate and bring it on.

* Finally, someone has come up with a way to punish Chinese industry for selling us all those unsafe pet foods and kids' toys. According to this Reuters story, Dunkin Donuts is moving into the Chinese market by opening its first store in Shanghai. Yep, that'll show 'em--send them our trans fats and sugar.

* Some aroma researchers have isolated a handful of smells that they claim stimulate male sexual response. I tried to imagine how these results were tested and verified, but decided it was really better that I didn't know. So, ladies, light your lavender candles and bake some pumpkin pie. Here are the aromas and the percentage of "increased penile blood flow" (and how many times do you get to type that into a food blog?):

Odor or odor combination....Average increase in penile blood flow

Lavender and pumpkin pie...40% average increase
Doughnut & black licorice...31.5%
Pumpkin pie & doughnut....20%
Orange...19.5%
Lavender & doughnut...18%
Black licorice and cola...13%
Black licorice...13%
Doughnut & cola...12.5%
Lily of the valley...11%
Buttered popcorn...9%

Not-So-Fine, Caroline

2008-01-31T12:12:00.000-08:00

At first, I thought this was going to be an entertaining read, and for a while it was. The foodie site, "Divine Caroline," set out to expose the Top Ten Most Ridiculous Diets."

And what are they? In reverse order, "best" to "worst," a la David Letterman, here they are:

10) Dr. Siegal's Cookie Diet. Now, if you work for Dr. Siegal, don't send me tons of "informative" e-mails. I'm not saying it's the 10th worst diet ever. Talk to the folks at the above-referenced website. I've been down this road with you before. I haven't tried your cookies, I don't intend to try your cookies. Anyway, you eat these cookies, which the Divine folks call "bricks of fiber-coated oats sweetened with prunes," and you lose weight. Uh-huh.

9) The Subway Diet. Eat two meals a day at Subway and, like the guy Jared on the TV commercials, you can lose weight. My only real problem with this one is the cost. Who can afford to eat twice a day at Subway? Not me.

8) The Cereal Diet. Eat two bowls of (fill in your favorite cereal here) plus a healthy dinner and you can lose six pounds in two weeks. Let's not even talk about the sugar in Special K. Let's just say that I, the sugar junkie who must be kept away from her fix, cannot be around cold cereal because I will eat it right out of the box.

7) The Cabbage Soup Diet. Never tried this one, but I gather you eat lots of cabbage. I like cabbage. I don't think I like cabbage twice a day for a long period of time, however.

6) Slim Fast. The Senior Adult in my household is drinking Slim Fast for lunch. Of course she has a snack at 10 a.m. and another at 3 p.m. And have you seen the amount of sugar in those babies? Yes, there's a low-carb version. They taste pretty crappy.

5)The Blood Type Diet. Yep, I always thought this one was pretty flaky, too. O's eat meat, A's eat veggies, B's eat dairy, and A/B's eat everything. Of course I have no idea what my blood type is, so I'm saying A/B.

4) The Russian Air Force Diet, supposedly developed in Russia as a quick trim-down for their recruits. Coffee for breakfast, two eggs and a tomato for lunch, a thin slice of meat and a salad for dinner. What's that, about 500 calories a day? Wonder if Kimmer was ever in the Russian Air Force?

3) The Hot Dog Diet. You eat hot dogs a couple of times a day, plus a cup of ice cream and a tablespoon of peanut butter. Ummmm...sounds nutritious...

2) Apple Cider Vinegar Diet. The one J-Lo (or somebody like that) swears by. Guzzle a few teaspoons of vinegar before your meal to cut your appetite. Or eat away your esophagus, which would also be an effective diet aid.

1) The Writing Diet. Hoo-boy here's a touchy-feely one. Since we do so much emotional eating, we should purge those emotions on the page. Like in a blog. Which I can write while eating hot dogs, ice cream and peanut butter.

And (drumroll) the "number-one most ridiculous diet"....yep, you knew this was coming. According to the Divine Caroline folks, it's the Atkins Diet, of which I feel protective even though I'm not on it right now. The author apparently tried it for a whole week and...surprise!...she felt like crap. Never heard of the carb flu, I guess. She sums it up thus: "The Atkins diet isn't a healthful lifestyle change, it's a limiting diet that requires you to eat a lot of not so healthy foods." What an absolute, mind-numbling idiot.

I'll just go off and have my Atkins-friendly chicken and vegetables now.

Just When You Thought Krispy Kreme Burgers Couldn't Be Topped

2008-01-30T12:12:00.000-08:00

What's the grossest junkfood you've ever eaten? Ever tried the infamous Krispy Kreme burgers that were all the rage a couple of years ago--a big honkin' hamburger patty between two Krispy Kremes? Or how about the fried Snickers bar?

Of course, those were funky fair food offerings so you can forgive them just a little.

But what do you say to Frito Lay, who has come up with this new concoction for its Japanese market?

Yes, in case you can't read the Japanese script, it's Strawberry Chocolate Cheetos, just in time for Valentine's Day. It's a basic Cheeto, except instead of being drowned in messy orange cheese powder it's dunked in white-chocolate strawberry powder.

But if there's no "chee" are they still "chee-tos?"

And the whole thing just begs the question: Why?

Paging M.D. Lite

2008-01-29T12:11:00.000-08:00

I called my doctor in New Orleans by the accurate-but-unflattering name of "M.D. Lite." She was my post-Katrina doctor, since my real doctor never returned to New Orleans after the storm, preferring, for some reason, the relatively safe confines of her evacuation site, Texas. So, floundering in the early months after the storm and needing a doctor, I pretty much closed my eyes and pointed to a name. Thus began my two years with M.D. Lite.

She was nice enough, didn't treat me like an overweight fool without the sense to put down the sugar jar, and seemed competent to treat my (thankfully minor) ailments, which were generally limited to the flu and a ripped tendon in my foot (which to be fair she didn't recognize but at least had the sense to send me to a savvy physical therapist who recognized the problem).

So now here I am in the wilds of east Alabama, and I have no nickname yet for my new doctor because, quite frankly, I have yet to see her from the front. How does that work, you might ask?

Well, first, early last October, as my blood pressure meds were running low, I called to make an appointment, armed with my spiffy new Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance card that will allow me to see most anyone. Problem: only two doctors in the county were accepting new patients. So, I make an appointment with Dr. X on the first available date: January 14. Sheesh! More than three months' waiting time. Hope I don't get sick, I thought.

Around Thanksgiving, Dr. X sent me a card saying she couldn't see me after all on Jan. 14--I'd have to come in on Feb. 5. By then I'd already been off my BP meds almost a month. So I called to whine and complain and beg, and her nurse relented and gave me a Jan. 23 appointment.

Here comes Jan. 23, and I show up for my appointment, only to be told there was no record of me having an appointment and the first time Dr. X could possible see me is Feb. 22.

I ask for the other doctor that was accepting new patients in October. Now, he's not taking anyone new.

I head for the Urgent Care clinic to get some prescriptions since I'm massively pissed off, and a stroke in my unmedicated high blood pressure state must surely be imminent. (BP: 110/70. Maybe I don't even need those meds.)

Before I left, though, I spotted the elusive Dr. X, all neat and trim and tidy in her little gray pants and white doctor coat, with her back to me, explaining to the nurse who denied making the appointment for me that she could not possibly work in a new patient.

So, I think I do have a new name for her after all: The Horse's Backside.

They Don't Call It Mardi Gras for Nothing

2008-01-26T12:10:00.000-08:00

So, we're headed toward Mardi Gras--Fat Tuesday. It is preceded by Lundi Gras--Fat Monday. And even though I no longer live in New Orleans, I'm getting ready to head back down with friends for the festivities, from Feb. 1 through Feb. 5. So no blogging those days--there are beads with my name on them headed my way.

So, what's involved in Mardi Gras besides bead catching and parade watching? I didn't get it for a long time, but it's people watching and, being as it IS New Orleans, after all, eating.

Here's the routine. Hours before parade time, you head with your camping or festival chair out to the neutral ground (which the rest of the world knows as a median), where you strive to be closest to the street. You park your butt in your chair alongside your pals, and in a spot convenient to all you place your cooler. If you're a REAL man or woman, you rope in your seating area with police tape, set up your grill, put up your folding table full of side dishes and set your cooler of beer or whatever underneath, and plan to stay in the area until the cows come home or the parades end for the day, whichever comes first.

We're planning a middle range of activities--we're taking out the chairs and snacks, but no grill or police tape.

Which is all a long way of thinking about King Cake, the traditional New Orleans pastry covered with sugar dyed in the Mardi Gras colors of green, purple and gold. Sometimes it also has icing and often is filled with cream cheese or some sticky sweet fruit filling. And if there's anything worse for you than sugar, I'd imagine it's sugar coated in purple vegetable dye.

I haven't seen a King Cake since last year. Usually by this time, my office in New Orleans would have shared at least a dozen. If you look back at my NOLA blog about this time last year I was bemoaning the sea of King Cake Carbs floating around the office on a daily basis.

Now I look in my new office area, and I see a carton of yogurt and a bottle of Kraft Light Three Cheese Ranch salad dressing. Sigh. It ain't the same, but no doubt it's healthier.

Sighing for Seniors

2008-01-22T12:10:00.000-08:00

Sigh. Here's the new modified government-issued Food Pyramid for senior adults, ages 70 and older.

No, I'm not there yet, though I'm barreling toward that age at an alarming rate.

But I do have a senior adult living with me, and my Resident Senior already has a fixed view of nutrition based on a combination of conflicting scientific reports over the years.

There's good news and bad news with this new food pyramid. The good news is that they've done it at all--recognizing that what's good for a hyperactive 20-year-old (theoretically)doesn't meet the needs of an octagenarian. Yes, before you even go there, I fully realize the food pyramids are so warped for any age that they're virtually useless. And that's the bad news.

So what changes have been made for folks like my Resident Senior? Mostly, more dairy. Unfortunately, the more dairy came at the expense of protein rather than breads and grains, which seem to have grown even larger. So still 9 servings a day in this category (the foods they show are whole grain bread, waffles, something that looks like a cow patty but is probably a rice cake, Frenc bread, whole grain cereal, oatmeal, pasta, rice and crackers).

Sigh.

Ruminations Friday

2008-01-19T12:09:00.000-08:00

Odds and ends from the "world at large"...

* From the "what on earth will they think of next" files...The Tapeworm Diet, which advocates that, although people have an inexplicable aversion to worms, a nice tapeworm can be a lovely means of weight loss. The diet's proponents, who will take your donations to help support their efforts in protesting the USA's unfair decision to prohibit the sale or transport of tapeworms into the country, then proceed to tell you how to obtain one from the cyst from a cow or pig. Note to self: don't even think about it.

* From the "I'd snore if I could only get to sleep" files...More evidence that lack of sleep plays havoc with weight and health. A Dec. 31 study showed that even three consecutive nights without deep sleep has the same negative effects on the body's insulin-management capabilities as gaining 20-30 pounds. I'm a bonafide insomniac. I can't remember the last time I actually slept for more than four or five hours. And I don't know what to do about it. So there.

* This poor guy in Houma, La., near my old New Orleans stomping grounds, was recently banned by a local Chinese all-you-can-eat buffet because, at 6-3 and 265 pounds, the tiny little owners thought he might eat too much of their food. Well, okay, apparently he had been there before and had eaten quite a lot. Still, if you advertise it, stand by it.

* From the "scare the hell out of you" files, this article about a Canadian woman who struggled with weight her whole life, dieted like mad to lose enough weight for weight-loss surgery, and then died four months later. For the first time, I have insurance that would pay for this kind of surgery, but frankly it scares the heck out of me.

From the Weird Files

2008-01-16T12:07:00.000-08:00

And because we can't ALWAYS be serious and gnashing our teeth and moaning over our big-a** jug of water, here's your weird story of the day. A woman in Texas was apparently so taken with herself that she had a life-sized wedding cake made in her image. Have a bite of armpit, anyone?

Check out the photo slideshow at the CNN website.

Like It or Not

2008-01-15T12:07:00.000-08:00

A comment made to yesterday's post about my dislike of plain water gave me pause for thought. The reader said, basically, that it was no wonder I struggle with my weight since I don't like drinking plain water and that I should spend my money on a therapist to help me understand what "normal" people expect out of their food and beverage in terms of taste.

Of couse, I laughed at the therapy comment. I no doubt need therapy for many, many things. The fact that I do not enjoy drinking plain water is pretty low on the list of all my neuroses, however.

It did make me think, though, about expectations. I think most of us would agree that food is not just "fuel" for the "human machine." Perhaps in its most technical state, it is simply that, and perhaps it should be simply that. But that's true for very few of us, and I'd be surprised if even my critical reader doesn't find some enjoyment of food or some emotional attachment/component to food.

But, is the reader right? Do "normal" people not really care if their food tastes good or not? Are my expectations warped that I should actually enjoy something I'm supposed to spend 64 ounces and at least an hour each day consuming? Have my years of eating "tasty" spoiled me to the enjoyment of eating "healthy regardless of taste?"

Don't know the answers here, but it's an interesting train of thought. What do you think? What are your expectations of food and drink?

Drinkin' Woman's Blues

2008-01-15T12:06:00.000-08:00

Okay, it isn't politically correct or anything, but I'll just say it. I hate water. Play in it? Fine. Wash with it? Okey-dokey. Drink it? YUCK.

So I'm trying to play nice with my Nutrisystem program and do everything I'm supposed to since the whole point of a no-brainer program like NS is to have them tell me what to do so i don't have to think about it.

Except, just like the brilliant Dr. Atkins and everyone else on the planet, yeah, yeah, yeah, need to drink that 64+ ounces of water a day.

Forgive my repetitiveness, but, YUCK.

So I contact my handy-dandy Nutrisystem "counselor" (probably a bored college kid making a few extra bucks) about what, in fact, may I consider water besides, well, water.

Crystal Light counts as water! Yea! I like Crystal Light. Only problem is, along with other major life changes I'd like to reduce my intake of aspartame (or "nasty-tame," as someone once called it--maybe my old buddy Jimmy Moore over at Livin' La Vida Low-Carb).

The greedy gusses at Crystal Light, however, use Splenda in their prefab bottled version, but retain cheaper aspartame in their more affordable powdered version. Now, if I am gonna drink at least 64 ounces of this crap a day, can you imagine how much $$$ it's going to cost to do bottled? (I can answer that: about $5 a day.) And can you imagine how much "nasty-tame" I'll be ingesting if I bottle my own at a much more reasonable 75 cents a day?

What's a thirsty girl to do? And don't tell me "drink water." At the risk of really sounding repetitive: YUCK.

Home Sweet Home

2008-01-12T12:04:00.000-08:00

Well, this has nothing to do with diets or food insanity (mine or the manufacturers') but my new coworkers were kind enough to throw me a housewarming party this week at my new house--well, new to me anyway. Which required me to actually get it sort of cleaned up and organized.

It's not my little baby Victorian from New Orleans--which, thankfully, sold in five weeks--but it's mine (well, okay, technically, the bank's) and it's close to work, albeit in somewhat of a soul-less mid-80s subdivision. And of course, I have to include my entire wall of built-in (unorganized as of yet) bookcases--a big selling point for this bookworm, and my furbabies Shane (red) and Tanker (black).

Seeing Stars

2008-01-11T12:03:00.000-08:00

Watching celebrity diets is sort of like watching a train wreck...you know it's going to be painful but you can't quite pull your eyes away from it.

So, new to our shelves is The Black Book of Hollywood Diet Secrets because, as we all know, if only we knew how Cameron Diaz stayed slim we would automatically look like her, right? (Never mind that there ain't a skinny blonde in my gene pool as far back as at least the signing of the Magna Carta.)

So, while we're daydreaming about exercise, we might as well look at how to LOOK like a star. Depending on who you want to look like, in no particular order, here are some tips from the book (parenthetical comments by yours truly because I can't help myself):

* Wanna look like John Cusack? Don't eat any white foods (not a bad strategy, actually).

* Oprah or Rachael Ray? Both drink Wulong Slimming Tea. (Wonder why they don't look more alike?)

* Heidi Klum or Cindy Crawford? Sip vinegar before dinner to kill your hunger pangs. (Wonder what it does to your kidneys?)

* Jessica Simpson? Detox with So-Cal cleanse, a trendy detox product. (Wonder if she's ever tried maltitol-sweetened chocolate?)

* Sharon Stone? Eat prunes to ease bloating and prevent wrinkles. (Would that be FACIAL wrinkles?)

* Demi Moore? Eat apples with peanut butter. (All day long?)

* Jennifer Lopez? Sniff grapefruit oil, which "affects your liver enzymes, which causes fats to be broken down and burn off." (I honestly couldn't make this stuff up--I ain't that clever.)

* Owen Wilson? A daily dose of asparagus and parsley, natural diuretics that diminish bloating. (Doesn't do much for mood enhancement, apparently. Okay, sorry, low blow.)

* Matthew McConaughey? Brush your teeth after every single bite of food--he carries his toothbrush to restaurants with him. Apparently, the fresh minty taste signals your brain that you are full. (My brain isn't that stupid.)

* Kelly Clarkson and Jennifer Hudson? The Cookie Diet. (Must be an American Idol thing. Wonder if I could suddenly carry a tune if I tried it?)

* Lindsay Lohan? Drinks soya in her coffee. (If you want to be like Lindsay, you have bigger problems than weight, IMHO.)

* Gwyneth Paltrow? Drinks dandelion tea as a diuretic. (And you, too, can look pale, ethereal and moderately anorexic.)

* Paris Hilton? Says avoid diet soda. (Please see extraneous comments about Lindsay Lohan.)

* Renee Zellweger? Hiking. (And what fun is that? I'd rather try sniffing vials of grapefruit oil.)

* Reese Witherspoon? Walk backward to tone your calves while carrying five-pound weights. (Yep, that would be me--great calves, porky body.)

* Julia Roberts? Knits--keeps her hands busy and mind occupied. (I quilt and it hasn't done a thing for me.)

* Kate Beckinsale? No starchy carbs after sundown. (Must make you grow fangs or something.)

* Gwen Stefani? Wear wedges--they make you look thinnest of all shoes.

Gotta go now--time to shop for shoes!

I Think I'm Jogging, I Think I'm Jogging....

2008-01-10T12:02:00.000-08:00

So I'm sitting here at my desk with an aching back, caused by the simple activity of climbing a ladder and spending 30 minutes with my arms stretched over my head wrestling with an outdated and possibly dangerous light fixture. I lost the wrestling match, I might add, and that was before the back pain started.

So, let's just say exercise of any sort is not my forte. Oh, I know it's important. It won't make me lose weight but it would make me less prone to bizarre back injuries, if nothing else.

So I was very interested in this NPR story recently about exercise, and the perception of exercise.

According to this Harvard psychologist, Ellen Langer, who has become one of my favorite people in the world, if we think we're exercising, it can have the same effect of really exercising, more or less. Langer did a study of hotel maids and how they perceived their activity levels. Now, I'd hate to be a hotel maid. They have to stay on their feet all day, doing hard work and getting lots of exercise. Yet most of those Langer studied reported that they did not get any exercise--because their idea of exercise was jogging or doing some kind of gym-torture. And their bodies didn't reflect the level of activity that they are, in fact, doing just as part of their jobs.

So Langer took half the maids and told them how much exercise they actually were getting, and the informed half had a loss of weight, blood pressure, etc. The placebo effect in action. "Hence, the theoretical possibility," the article says, "that one might be able to sit around eating chocolate and still lose weight."

So, if I sit here with my giant pepperoni pizza and think about how much exercise I'm getting by lifting the slice to my mouth, chewing, swallowing and digesting, it pretty much nullifies the damage, right?

Well, okay, it probably sounds too good to be true, and there have been some negative nancies at Duke and the University of Texas who have pooh-poohed the whole idea.

Still, I think I'll go and have a daydream about powerwalking up Mount Everest. I feel a sweat coming on.

What's in a Toe?

2008-01-09T12:01:00.000-08:00

So, how attached are you to your toes? Or, rather, to having only five of them? Would you be willing to have six toes on one foot to reach your ideal weight?

There was an interesting story on CBS News--one of those interminable New Year's weight-loss things--about how far people, primarily women, would be willing to go to reach that elusive magic scale number. The survey was done for Fitness magazine.

So here are some of the results.

* About 25 percent would spend a week in jail.
* 85 percent would be happy to squeeze an extra toe into their (wider) shoes.
* 23 percent would shave their heads.
* 51 percent prefer Keira Knightley's body over Queen Latifah's.
* 50 percent would rather lose 20 pounds than live to be 100.

Now, okay. To weigh a nice svelte number that I haven't seen since, oh, about sixth grade, I would spend a week in the slammer. Does that include laundry duty, community showers and new girlfriends named Big Bertha, I wonder? I would take an extra toe--heck, an extra toe on each foot. Who cares, really? Bunions and sandals are poor bedfellows anyway. Yep, I would shave my head. I might have curly hair when it grows back, after all, and I could pick a new haircolor.

Hmmm...yeah, I'd probably rather look like Keira than Latifah, but I'd rather look like Latifah than myself, so...whatever.

Now, the last one gives pause. I absolutely would not give up living to 100 for 20 pounds. 20 pounds? Let's see...fat and 99 or fat-minus-20-pounds and dead? You do the math.

Getting Fruity

2008-01-07T11:44:00.000-08:00

So, here I am, first of the year, what's a chronic dieter to do after being on a three-month out-of-control snackfest? The good, self-controlled dieter would say, here's my copy of Dr. Atkins New Diet Revolution, hunker down with a few hunks o'meat and some veggies, and just slog through the low-carb flu for a few days.

The unmotivated, lazy, uncontrolled dieter would say, hmmmm, what's easiest and requires the least amount of time and brain cells from me?

Which brings us to NutriSystem. Now, in my own defense, I honestly had already signed up for their South-Beach-in-a-Box program well before I began seeing the cheesy, sleazy New Year's ads aimed at all us poor disheveled behemoths looking for a new start in January. And when my sarcastically inclined senior maternal live-in adult (which only proves I come by my sarcasm honestly) asks me when I'm making my own cheesy N/S television ad, I respond that when they pay me I'll prance on a stage with before and after photos. Because if you read in the very, very, very tiny print beside those before and after photos, next to where it states "results not typical," it also says that the people have been paid.

Which they should, because the program is ridiculously expensive, and I probably can't stay on it more than a month without entering the poor house, where I would be fed beans and rice every meal. And while that doesn't sound so bad, it would play hell with my carbs.

So why the title "getting fruity?" Because as part of the Nutri/System South-Beach-in-a-Box program, I'm eating a bit of fruit (keeping it low carb, of course) for the first time in a while. Pretty tasty stuff, fruit.

Small Town Life

2008-01-04T11:43:00.000-08:00

So, here I am, living in a new environment after 15 years in New Orleans, and before that in San Diego and Houston. It has been quite an adjustment. I walked in my backyard a couple of nights ago and saw stars for the first time in years. I had forgotten about stars! The sky is bluer, and I can drive five minutes and be in the middle of the woods. People here complain about traffic but, believe me, except on days when the Auburn Tigers have a home game, there is no serious traffic.

On the other hand, there also is no DVR service available--well, there is, but apparently there are only so many DVR units available in the county and I had to go on a waiting list. And there's no local TV stations, so who knows if there's any news here (judging from the teeny-tiny newspaper, that answer is no). And there is no Lebanese or Greek food to be found, and one of my favorite low-carb meals was a gyro plate from Byblos or Babylon in New Orleans, a nice lamb blend with onions alongside a salad and a little mound of labneh. Sigh. On the other hand, there's lots of BBQ. I mean, LOTS of BBQ, usually smoked and you do the sauce yourself so that's good. And then there's the Auburn Meat Lab, which I'll write about later. A low-carber's dream.

I find myself trying to adjust my city-girl mindset. I am way too early for everything because I'm used to leaving 45 minutes before I need to be somewhere, not five minutes. I think I was almost arrested in the Wal-Mart parking lot last weekend for stalking because I was following a woman in my car as she walked through the lot with her cart. I just wanted her parking space. We do that in the city; apparently, not here. Scared the poor old girl to death. And this morning, as I sat at a red light looking in the next lane at some poor guy whose car had broken down, I was horrified to see three guys jump from the truck in front of me and run over to the car. OMG! I thought--they're going to rob him. Well, no, actually, they were going to help him get his car pushed over to the side of the road. Gotta get over that crime thing, but that may take a while.

It's good to settle down after more than two months of commuting more than an hour each way. To be here at work by 7:30 I'd leave before dark and got in the really bad habit of pulling through the Burger King drive-through I passed on my way to the interstate to grab a carbolicious breakfast. How often? Well, let's just say the last morning I went through, getting a late start, the woman at the drive-through line said, "Honey, you're running late this morning." Now, if that's not a sign you've been out of control, I don't know what is!

Good to be back.

Coming Soon!

2008-01-01T11:42:00.000-08:00

Nope, I didn't forget. Yep, I'm still around (and round). Things have started settling down with the new job and home--lots of changes! So, in the next few days, "Waisted in the Wasteland" will become simply "Waisted" (that, unfortunately, hasn't changed). Hope my readers will find their way back!

A belated thanks to my reader friend in France for the book--it arrived in New ORleans after I left, my realtor hid it in my "for sale" house and I didn't find it till I was packing up for the final move-out! But I love it, Harry Potter geek that I am. So THANK YOU!!

Back soon....

Desperate Times...

2007-08-24T11:41:00.000-07:00

...call for Desperate Measures.

Sadly, with my long commute each day for the new job and limited time at home in the evenings, blogging just isn't doable for me right now. So it is with great fondness that I wish you all goodbye for now.

I hope to get "Waisted" resurrected for New Year's. I hope you'll remember to check back then--I'll try to get word around when I'm able to get it going again.

Best of luck to you all on your low-carb journeys!

In the meantime, if any of you need to reach me, you can always email me at:
suzannej3523@gmail.com.

Bye for now!

This is Your Brain...on Food

2007-08-23T11:41:00.000-07:00

Trying to play catchup in the evenings these days, and came across an interesting piece from Scientific American about food addiction.

It's not an addiction, you say? Then just don't stand between me and a pint of Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla when I have a craving going on. And ignore the blissful look on my face when the craving is satisfied.

So, anyway, this scientist who specializes in addictive behaviors has been able to use magnetic resonance imaging to compare responses in dopamine (pleasure-seeking) receptors between compulsive eaters and drug addicts. Bingo. Same image, different "drug."

It doesn't really change anything, except to provide perhaps some reassurance to dieters that, yes, it really is harder than just "saying no."

Without a Plan

2007-08-22T11:39:00.000-07:00

Boy, am I out of it!

So here I am, in a new town, with a new job. I'm living in a friend's guest room thanks to her generosity, along with my two "varmints" Shane and Tanker, commuting about 50 miles each way to work in yet another new town. My mom has been packed off to stay with her Alzheimer's-riddled sister in yet another third town.

Can you say "in flux?"

I've always heard, and I believe it's true, that to stick with a weight-loss program you have to find a plan and stick to it.

So the fact that I am currently planless and a bit out of control (of everything) doesn't bode well. It's only my second day on the new job. Things WILL settle down.

Anyway, sorry for the long absence. Moving is a bitch! Wish I could say it was over, but half my stuff's in storage and the other half is in my house in New Orleans. So whenever the house sells (pleeeeeeeze sell, little house) then there will be the "real" move to do.

Oh well, this too shall pass. Hope to be blogging regularly again now on this site.

She's Baaaccckkkk

2007-08-21T11:38:00.000-07:00

But barely....

I'm still living out of a suitcase and can barely remember my name. But I AM back. I noticed Blogger is about to have a scheduled outage, so I'll be back this evening. Stay tuned...

Temporarily Out of Service

2007-08-08T11:38:00.000-07:00

I'm at the peak of getting ready to move, so I'm afraid both blogs will have to go on hiatus until August 20. Come back and visit then!

100-Calorie Mania

2007-08-06T11:37:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure who started it, but the 100-calories portion snack-food business has gotten to be HUGE. Weight Watchers touts these little treasures as "only 2 points."

But these little babies are coming out with no regard whatsoever to nutritional value, the theory being that no food is verboten in small enough quantities.

But for those of us struggling with weight issues and watching carb intake [not to mention keeping little friends named Bingey at bay], these little missiles are deadly. If we can't trust ourselves around Lorna Doones in a large package, why would we subject ourselves to a box with eight small packages of Lorna Doones?

And now--wasn't it inevitable?--fast food is getting in on the act. First out of the gate: Burger King, who will be rolling out 100-calorie packs of "Ketchup & Fries Flavored Potato Snacks" and "Flame Broiled Burger Flavored Potato Snacks" this fall. Basically, whatever they're called, they're potato chips, so you'll find them in your local Wal-Mart alongside the 100-calorie packs of Doritos and cookies.

Better yet, skip them. Who needs another "potato snack?"

More Cheers for Chocolate

2007-08-06T11:36:00.000-07:00

Ah, bless the humble lab rat. The sacrifices they make for us.

Take, for example, the recent study out of Spain confirming that diets rich in cocoa resulted in significant increases in the total antioxidant capacity in all body tissue but particularly in the thymus. It all makes for a much stronger immune system.

This all fits hand-in-glove with most of the previous studies of cocoa that have focused on benefits to cardiovascular health.

It's all good. And there are some terrific low-carb, sugar-free chocolates out there these days. My favorite is still the maltitol-free, sugar-free chocolate bark from Maine Cottage Foods.

(And, for the record, no, I don't have any affiliation with them, make no money if you click on their link, etc. This is a 100% non-commercial site. I just like 'em!)

Ruminations Friday

2007-08-04T11:35:00.000-07:00

This is something I do on my New Orleans blog, and since I'm so far behind in cleaning out my "idea" file, here's a rundown of "functional food" and other headlines from recent days. Doesn't it just make your head spin?

Here goes (deep breath):

According to the Social Contagion factor, overweight people have overweight friends. Well, duh. How else can we borrow clothes?
Drinking coffee reduces your chance of liver cancer. Presumably that doesn't hold for Kahlua, alas.
Blue corn tortillas are higher in protein and lower in carbs than regular corn tortillas. Note to self: low-carb wraps are even better.
High-fructose corn syrup was shown to be no worse for our bodies, ourselves than sucrose. Darn. I do so want to blame someone besides myself.
Eating more broccoli/cruciferous veggies can lead to a reduction in aggressive prostate cancer. What does that say about non-aggressive prostate cancer?
Researchers have discovered a metabolic defect in the liver that can help explain why some people become obese and others do not. Seems the defect involves the ability--or, in this case, inability--of the liver to dispose of excess fat. See, I told you there was something else to blame.
How low should your cholesterol go? These researchers say that very low cholesterol levels such as those achieved by taking those evil statin drugs, is linked with cancer. Just toss it into the "great cholesterol myth" pile.
Hmph. Now both diet and regular sodas are linked with an increase in heart disease. Not that either one of them actually causes heart disease, the researchers say. Just that cretins such as myself who consume diet sodas are more likely to have poorer diets than fine, upstanding folks who drink only water. Bah.
According to researchers in Texas, fat chicks are less likely to go to college than skinny girls. What about fat guys, I ask? Oh, I forgot. Fat is a feminist issue.
Let your spare tire off the hook. Scientists have figured out that muscular insulin resistance is to blame for Metabolic Syndrome, not abdominal fat.
Now here's a study to sink your teeth into and goes along with some things I've been thinking about. Basically, embrace your inner binger. Study shows people who experience food cravings are responding to calorie restriction more than anything and people should accept food cravings and factor them into their weightloss plan. Well. How a box of pralines exactly fits into any food plan, I am not sure.
Obesity is a strong indicator of the tendency to develop multiple myeloma, a cancer of the blood cells. How much more good news can we stand?
If you're trying to lose weight, a team of researchers tell us, it's healthier to eat foods such as lentils than foods such as white bread. And, let me get this straight, said researchers are actually PAID to come up with earth-shattering results like this?

Oh well, there's more but I need to pack some boxes. Ciaou for now.

Sit on This, Soft and Flashy

2007-08-03T11:34:00.000-07:00

Waaa-haaa-haaa. This is just what I need--a chair to change colors to announce to the world that the person sitting on it is overweight.

The furniture is called fuwa pica, which means soft and flashy. It changes colors to reflect emotions--think of it as a mood ring for your butt--and if you're overweight it changes to red "as if the blood pressure was rising," says the designer.

Of course, the designer also says that all furniture breathes and talks--we just can't hear it.

Me: "Okay, desk chair. What have you to say for yourself? You've been pretty darn quiet for the past 13 years."

Chair: "Hell, am I that old? Good grief. I need to be put out in the dumpster."

Me: "Good thought. My last day at work is next week. Want me to roll you out there on my way out the door?"

Chair: "Yeah, and don't let the door hit you on the backside as you leave."

Me: "Wait! You're turning red! Oh no, darn, that was nail polish."

The Center Cannot Hold

2007-08-03T11:33:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been a bit absent lately--I've been walking around in something of a daze, as the time to move fast approaches and I don't seem to be any closer to being ready to even get my house on the market, much less physically move. My brother has been hospitalized in Atlanta with atrial fibrillation. The aunt I was named after has been rushed to ICU in Alabama with a recurrence of lung cancer or worsening of emphysema--take your pick. My mom is in freakout mode over the move. I feel battered. Wouldn't sugar help?

I've been drawn back to one of my all-time favorite poems, WB Yeats' "The Second Coming."

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.…
Oh well. Bear with me.

Bringing Home the Bacon

2007-08-02T11:33:00.000-07:00

I love bacon. Who doesn't love bacon? But I have been concerned about bacon in recent years because of all the hoo-ha about nitrates. As I understand it (but I'm no scientist), nitrates are salts (NO3) used as preservatives and to lend color to cured meats. Once ingested, they are converted by the gastric system to nitrites. The nitrites then react with amino acids and form carcinogenic nitrosamines. Whew! Chemistry lesson over.

Anyway, I've been pleased to see bacon showing up in the grocery stories marked "nitrate free" and "naturally cured." I've even bought some sugar-free, nitrate-free stuff a couple of times.

So it was interesting to read this article by a food industry executive about how -- what a surprise! -- consumers are once again being misled by loopholes in packaging requirements.

Turns out if the nitrates are not added directly to the food in question, but secondarily in another ingredient, they do not "count" as far as food labeling is concerned. So something can claim to be "nitrate free" yet still contain nitrates.

So, to heck with it. I'll just eat my occasional piece of bacon.

Forgetting to Eat

2007-08-01T11:32:00.000-07:00

I tried to brace myself but it was still a shock as I pulled into the driveway of my Aunt Grace's house and saw her coming out to meet us. She's my mom's younger sister, and has always been strong-willing and resourceful. She raised two kids alone after a bad marriage, had taken care of my grandmother through her latter years and still managed to own her home in a small suburb of Birmingham, Alabama.

But everything is run down now. Her kids are gone--one dead and the other living in a state of denial and far away. The suburb is shabby and sliding down the socioeconomic scale at a rapid pace. The house is showing its age. The neighborhood is no longer safe. And Grace is a walking shadow of her former self as dementia ravages her mind and she struggles to maintain enough of a grip to keep herself going, which she does only through the frequent intervention of scattered family members who try to explain that she still has to pay her bills and that she shouldn't be driving her car.

But the state of what her life has become is complicated by her weakening ability to recognize what she needs to survive. And here we come to the shock of seeing her again for the first time since March. She comes out to greet us wearing a loose-fitting top that only hints at what a quick hug confirms: she is starving herself to death not because she wants to lose weight but because she forgets to eat and no longer recognizes signals of hunger.

Now, I must admit the whole concept of forgetting to eat is foreign to me. But it does make me thing about the whole notion of food and quality of life. A standard of veterinary practice is to watch the appetites of our pets; once they lose interest in food it signals that the end of their lives is near, that a certain quality of life is something we can no longer provide. Others of us suffer from too much interest, such a great fixation on the pleasures of food not only to sustain our physical selves but to provide that quality of life.

I don't know where all that's going, just something to ponder on a quiet Tuesday morning. And it's all very sad.

Back in the Saddle

2007-07-30T09:52:00.000-07:00

Well, back at least.

I had a terrific week in Nashville--thanks for all the well-wishes! Somewhere between prayer and Xanax I lost my speaking fear--it was a comfortable room, and I had lots of PowerPoint slides.

I had some terrific meals. At Mambu, there were lobster rolls and Chicken Joan of Arc, which featured feta cheese, olives, and tomato over a grilled chicken breast, all topped with a fresh date. At Sambucca, it was an amazing filet topped with gorgonzola. The Vanderbilt campus was beautiful, and the weather was less humid than expected. It was a nice week. I wasn't a serious low-carber but I got LOTS of exercise just walking, walking, walking.

Now, back to reality. My last day at work is August 8, so I'll be trying to finish up a lot of projects and not leave things in bad shape. At night, it'll be paint, clean, pack, ad nauseum. I'd feel better about everything if I had a little crystal ball and could see where things were going as far as selling the house and actually making the move, but I guess that's where faith comes in, yes?

Heart Palpitations

2007-07-19T09:50:00.001-07:00

Yep, I'm having heart palpitations--that's how stressed I am these days. I leave tomorrow for a conference in Nashville where I have to teach a class--mmmmm, how I love that public speaking (not)! And it comes at the worst possible time because...

After I return from Nashville I'll have about two weeks to get my house ready to sell (while still working full-time), put it on the market, get packed up, leave my job at Tulane University, move my mom to temporary lodgings in Birmingham, Alabama, and then move myself and my two furkids to temporary lodgings in Montgomery, Alabama. I'll start work at Auburn University in late August but will need to sell my house in New Orleans before I can find a place in Auburn. (Woo-hoo--waving at Bamagal!)

So, yes, I am leaving New Orleans. It has been a long and bumpy two years since Hurricane Katrina and the federal levee failures laid waste to my adopted hometown. I don't really know how to explain people's feelings about New Orleans except to say you either hate it and leave or you love it just as you would love a person. I'm in the latter group, and leaving breaks my heart and makes me feel as if I'm abandoning someone I care about. But changes in my job, coupled with crime, corruption, lack of adequate health care, and rapidly escalating living costs, have convinced me this is a city that needs to be rebuilt and repeopled by younger, wealthier or at least more optimistic people than I. I'm excited about my new job and home, yet I'm already homesick for New Orleans and I haven't left yet.

So, big stressful life changes are coming in the next month. I'll try to keep my online blog-complaining limited. And try to keep the stress eating in check!

And I'll try to blog "from the road" next week but may be spotty--keep checking back.

Now, if you know anyone who might want a nice little Victorian cottage in New Orleans, built in 1901, here she is!

Much Ado About Kimkins

2007-07-19T09:50:00.000-07:00

A reader asked me to comment on the big controversy swirling around the Kimkins low-carb diet plan. The backstory is this: Kimkins, a plan created by a woman who I know only as "Kimmer," has been getting a lot of publicity lately because of an article in Woman's World magazine calling the program "better than gastric bypass." Then low-carb blogworld guru Jimmy Moore started the Kimkins program and has been having a lot of success with it.

But the controversy swirls both about the diet and about Kimmer herself. Kimmer keeps a low profile--she doesn't do interviews, for example, and the "self-portrait" photos on the Kimkins website are of what appears to be completely different people. So, she's a bit of a mystery. I don't know what her reasons are for staying hidden and using photos that may not even be her. Frankly, I don't care.

The issue for me is the diet.

Does Kimkins work? Yes, it does. Absolutely. The basic Kimkins diet is not very different from Atkins induction, except with low fat as well as low carbs, and keeping up with your calorie intake. You eat 20 or fewer grams of carbs (and don't subtract fiber grams), no sugar alcohols or other special "low carb food," lean protein, a couple of cups of salad or a cup of a green veggies and "enough fat" to make it palatable. That's it. There's also a "quick start" version that is a bit more spare.

The thing that turned me off the program -- for me, as a personal decision -- was not the program itself. Like Atkins induction, if you follow the program and pay attention to how you follow it, you can keep it pretty healthy.

But if you really get involved in the Kimkins website community, you'll see where the controversy comes in.

First, fiber consumption is not recommended because it "bulks you up"; taking a half-dose or so of Milk of Magnesia daily is encouraged to "clear things out" and is something Kimmer says she does.

Most folks on the Kimkins discussion boards are eating about 700-800 calories a day and obsessing over it if they "slip up" and eat "too much." If you find yourself losing less than 5-7 pounds a week and e-mail Kimmer about it, she will examine your food logs for the previous week and point out where you're going wrong. I did this a couple of times. I was eating about 900 calories a day and only losing 1-2 pounds a week, so I sent Kimmer my menus--she suggested I reduce the fat that my mushrooms were sauteed in and just use water or Pam, that I cut all cheese from the diet because of the fat, and make sure my protein was the leanest possible. So I did that, and I still, at about 800 calories a day, was losing about 2 pounds a week on the scale. But the scale wasn't telling the story because I developed a whole lot of saggy skin and felt weird. I'm not sure how to describe how I felt but I think the word is "empty." I didn't want to eat--a "desirable" state the Kimkins folks call "SNATT" (slightly nauseous all the time). When I finally broke ranks for Christmas and started eating a bit more, I was ravenous. It was like part of my five senses had shut down and suddenly had awakened.

It finally occurred to me, away from the seduction of the scale, that I had been starving myself. Had I started out from a thinner weight, there would have been little difference between my own diet and that of one of the pro-anorexia proponents.

So, does Kimkins (the diet) promote eating disorders? For me the answer is that, in the long run, you have to take responsibility for your own health regardless of what eating plan you follow. Personally, I could never see that avoiding fiber and taking laxatives made sense from a health standpoint, so I didn't lose weight at the "better than gastric bypass" rate. Unless he's changed his methods, I think Jimmy Moore is also adding fiber into his diet. If you follow the program, use your brain, and don't get sucked into the online community too deeply, Kimkins can be a fairly healthy, very low carb diet. As I said, pretty much very strict Atkins induction as it was originally devised (as opposed to the later version where the good doctor relaxed a bit on the sugar alcohols and other low-carb processed foods).

So, with that, here's my final take on Kimkins. Like any eating program, you have to be responsible in how you interpret it. You could technically adhere to the Weight Watchers "points" program while eating only junk food--but you know that isn't healthy. You can technically adhere to Kimkins while cutting fiber from your diet and cutting your calories down to nothing, but you know that isn't healthy either. I had stalled on Kimkins but when I cycled back to Atkins and started adding more calories and fat into my diet, I started losing again.

I had thought I wanted to lose the weight very quickly and then worry about learning how to eat in the real world. If that's you, then Kimkins works--not as a lifelong plan but as a measure to take weight off quickly.

But what I learned about myself is that I couldn't sustain that level of deprivation for a long-term weightloss period. I learned that I'd rather lose it more slowly and have a little more flexibility in my life.

Bottom line: know yourself, what you need, how things work for you, and use your common sense. Would I go on Kimkins again? It's unlikely--I'm more likely to restart Atkins induction.

But if you have further questions, just ask!

In the Public Interest

2007-07-17T09:49:00.000-07:00

If you've been following the lawsuits about the highly carcinogenic benzene being found at alarming levels in soft drinks, you'll be relieved to know that Pepsi has finally joined Coca-Cola and others in agreeing to reformulate their soft drinks to take benzene-containing ingredients out of their beverages.

Information on this latest development can be found on the Beverage Daily website.

The settlement involves PepsiCo, Sunny Delight Beverages Co., Rockstar Inc., Polar Beverages Inc. and Shasta Beverages Inc., according to Forbes magazine.

Coca-Cola settled a couple of months ago and has already reformulated its products.

Duh, I say, and what took so long? I suspect the answer is $$$$$.

As it currently stands, the following products (prior to last week's settlement) had higher-than-acceptable levels of benzene, as determined by the EPA. These are the worst offenders; a complete list can be found here.

Sunkist Orange Soda
Diet Safeway Select Orange
Fanta Pineapple
Bellywashers Blackberry Blast Juice Drink
Sunny D Citrus Punch
Tropicana Orangeade
Kool-Aid Jammers Juice Drink Cherry
Diet Pepsi Twist
Ocean Spray Light Cranberry Juice Cocktail
Ocean Spray Cranberry Blend
Ocean Spray Diet Orange Citrus Spray
Apple & Eve Light Cranberry
Shur Fine Cranberry Juice Cocktail
Harvest Classic Cranberry Juice
Giant Light Fruity Punch Cooler
Giant Light Cranberry Juice Cocktail

Stress Tests

2007-07-16T09:48:00.000-07:00

How do you handle stress? I've talked on this blog about my discovery during my Hurricane Katrina exile that I was a stress eater. You'd think I would have known that already but I guess I needed some extreme stress to figure it out.

It occurred to me yesterday that maybe we learn to be stress eaters at an early age and take it with us like a pacifier wherever we go in life. I had a stressful day yesterday. I should preface this by explaining that my mom, who's in her early 80s, moved in with me a couple of years ago. Which has been overall a good experience, though she's so low-fat-hotwired that it makes low carbing a challenge. And a weight nag, but that's a whole other topic.

Anyway, I was pretty well verbally dissed and treated badly by a longterm coworker yesterday. I won't say now what it was about--maybe in a day or two--but I got my little feelings hurt. Then I was angry. Then I was hurt again. After a little crying jag, my mom--bless her--came and offered me an ice cream sandwich.

Ding ding ding.

Bells went off in my head. I don't remember sweets being offered as consolation when I was a child and was upset but I bet they were. And no, I'm not blaming my mom for my weight problems. It's just natural to try and comfort someone when they're in mental anguish.

I opted for some low-carb chocolate--still using food as comfort but less damaging.

What do "normal" people do to console themselves--exercise? Or do "normal" people get upset without ever feeling the need for consolation from something outside themselves? Or do they eat an ice cream sandwich, never fearing it will send them into a binging spiral?

Free Stigma Brochure

2007-07-14T09:48:00.000-07:00

With all our discussions in recent days about the stigma and prejudice attached to being overweight, I thought you might be interested in a site I found recently that has a free brochure on what it calls "Obesity Stigma."

I admit I haven't fully explored the site of this organization, called the Obesity Action Council. It is a nonprofit group that seems on the surface at least to be about education resources about weight issues.

But anyway, if you click here, they claim to have lots of free literature you can request. More specifically, if you click here you can download or order their "Obesity Stigma" brochure.

As I said, I can't really endorse the organization without knowing more about it, but the weight stigma brochure is cosponsored by the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale University, which is a great organization. Which gives me hope that it will provide an interesting read about weight stigma in our society and how to combat it. A quick glance through it offers some sobering statistics.

Let me know what YOU think!

The Fat Tax

2007-07-13T09:47:00.001-07:00

Well, just in case we're not indoctrinated enough on the low-fat regime, here's an idea out of the UK: the fat tax.

There's already a "sin tax" in many areas placed on cigarettes. Theory being, if you want to save money you'll quit smoking or, if you want to continue smoking, you'll pay a little extra that will be rolled back into healthcare to take care of you when your lungs give out.

So, I figure, they'll tack on a few cents to the Twinkies and Krispy Kremes and Big Macs of the world--since only fat people eat those things, don't you know--and the assumption is that people won't buy them and therefore won't be overweight.

In the study, published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, researchers conclude that taxing certain foodstuffs in the UK could prevent up to 3,200 deaths from heart attacks and stroke every year.

They looked at three different taxation scenarios: first, taxing dairy products with high levels of saturated fats--cheese, butter, whole milk. Second, they looked at rating foods on a "healthy scale"--spinach would be a -12, while chocolate cookies a +29. Anything over +9 would be taxed. The third scenario would target fat, salt and sugar intake.

Uh huh. You see where this will go, should something like this be done. Food manufacturers will concoct even more high carb/low fat foodstuffs to get around the taxation rules, creating a glut of even more cheap, nutritionally empty crap for us to eat.

And it isn't just the UK. Here is a site just for you to vote on an American fat tax.

Passions

2007-07-13T09:47:00.000-07:00

If you haven't been keeping up with the discussion in the comments section here and especially here, you should.

I have almost called a halt to it a couple of times when it looked as if it was getting too personal. But if you want to read the passionate writings of a group of smart, articulate, beautiful women, please take a look.

I think the amount of passion in these discussions really underscores what a loaded subject is obesity and our society's response to it.

ALL of us agree that it is wrong to ridicule or categorize or show bias toward a person because of his or her weight.

Where we disagree--and at this stage I think we just have to agree to disagree--is to what extent people who are obese should "be okay with it." That has different meanings to different people. To some, it means saying "to heck with dieting" and moving on with life. And that is their right.

To me--and, I suspect, to most readers of this blog--it means that while I still continue to work on weight issues, I am not going to put my life on hold until I'm a size 6. I'm not going to hate myself because of my size. I'm not going to accept being ridiculed or blamed for global warming.

Will I reach my goal weight? I sure hope so, and I plan to keep working at it. But I don't think that is at cross-purposes with living my life to the fullest and liking who I am, at whatever size I am at any moment in time.

Cleaning Out the Bookmarks

2007-07-11T09:46:00.000-07:00

It's time for my periodic purge of the stuff cluttering up my inbox and bookmarks--you know, kind of All the News That Wasn't Quite Fit to Print. In no particular order...

• It's Harry Potter month! I love the HP books, even if JK Rowling doesn't need any more money. Today's the release of the fifth movie, "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix"--not my favorite of the books, but I'm still anxious to see it. And on the 21st comes the release of the seventh and final book. How much do I love Harry? Well, my big souvenir when I went to London a couple of years ago was a boxed set of the original Brit version of the first four books, which weighed a ton and I had to schlep them all the way from Picadilly to my little Kensington hotel, then through Heathrow and JFK and all the way back to New Orleans. Anyhow, if you're a fan of the books, you know the kids are--what a surprise--always eating sweets of such notoriety as Bertie Bott's Every-Flavored jellybeans and Cockroach Clusters. So in honor of Harry, here's a set of recipes for your Potter party. Not a low-carb option among them. Oh well.

• Speaking of Harry Potter, there was an an interesting article recently out of Worcester about how overweight children are portrayed in literature. Think about it. If you read the Potter books, you know the horrendous cousin Dudley Dursley, who's such a little porker that one of the first acts of magic in book 1 was to fit him with a pig's tail. Is it any wonder kids grow up to objectify and ridicule fat people? (And, no, let's not start that discussion again!)

• Now here's some shaky science. A group of Edinburgh researchers have concluded that--gasp--sugar is not only not bad for you, it's downright helpful in losing weight. (Excuse me while I finish choking.) Yes, sugar was deemed to help dieters feel more satisfied on their diets and stay on them longer. Oh, and that's only when combined with 60 minutes of brisk exercise per day. Oh, never mind. That one's just too stupid to take on.

• A group of pointy-headed scientists at Yale have spent the better part of a week discussing whether or not people really do have food addictions. It's actually pretty interesting in terms of how people with severe food dysfunction describe their eating in the same terms used by drug or alcohol addicts. Yet it also differs from "traditional" addictions in that it does not accelerate in the same way. Now, I know that when I've been eating low carb for a while and I eat some sugary thing, it sets off an out-of-control craving and it takes a lot of self-control to resist diving headfirst into a vat of Ho-Hos. Would that make me a Ho-Ho 'Ho? But I digress.

• Last, but not least, this interesting piece about high-carb (also read: low-fat) diets increasing the risk of people developing cardiac disease--particularly overweight people...who are the most likely to be on high-carb, low-fat diets. Particularly true of carbs coming from processed foods. I swear, I think all these processed foods are killing us but who has freakin' time to cook? I leave the house at around 7:30 a.m. and get home about 6 p.m. Yeah, I know, plan ahead. Cook on weekends for the whole week. Guess the real truth is, I don't enjoy cooking. I'd rather read Harry Potter books and eat cockroach clusters.

Life Lessons

2007-07-11T09:45:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder why we do things to ourselves that make us miserable? I do (this) and I have (done it again) and I am (miserable).

No, I haven't gorged myself on Blue Bell ice cream, although if I thought it would help I might consider it.

It's that public speaking thing again. Why do people keep asking me? Why do I keep accepting?

So here I am again, trying to prepare in about 10 days' time, to head to Nashville to teach a class on magazine production. I don't teach. I don't stand in front of rooms of people thinking I have anything of interest to impart to them. I was insane for ever saying I'd do this. Why did I?

It's that Puritan ethic thing, I think. "It's good for me." To stray outside my comfort zone, to get experience in something new, to meet people.

"If I were only thinner," I think, "I wouldn't mind parading in front of a roomful of strangers who've paid umpteen dollars to hear me say something enlightening, when I have nothing enlightening to say."

"If I were younger/prettier/smarter/not such a freaking panic-stricken basketcase, I'd enjoy this."

But, really, even if I were thinner, would it make me a more authoritative speaker? More comfortable speaking in front of a crowd? Give me hair that would actually do something besides lay flat or stick out, Alfalfa-like, depending on the humidity?

No, probably not. And eating a gallon of Blue Bell ice cream won't help any, either. At least I've learned that much.

A Message to Katherine, and Others

2007-07-10T09:45:00.000-07:00

A reader named Katherine has been posting some pretty outrageous comments the last couple of days. I started out responding in a comment, but decided it needed a post of its own. I'm glad Katherine has posted her comments, as it drives home some of the points I've tried in my own way to make the past few postings.

No, Katherine, I'm not saying obesity is "good." I am not happy that I struggle with weight issues. I am not saying that I won't continue with my own weight-loss program. I am not saying that we should throw in the towel.

BUT. BUT. BUT.

What I AM saying is this:
• People should be treated with respect regardless of their size.
• It should be no more acceptable to ridicule a person for his or her weight than to ridicule a person for ethnicity, religious preference, or sexual preference. "But they're born with that--it's not a choice," you might say, especially for ethnicity. Neither is being fat. Anyone who thinks being overweight is a simple matter of "lack of willpower" needs to wake up and smell the DaVinci Syrup because...
• BEING OVERWEIGHT IS NOT A MORAL FAILURE.
• People who have never dealt with a weight problem have no right to spew judgment on those who know firsthand that losing weight is not a matter of "calories in, calories out." Genetics, medical conditions and--yes--lifestyle all contribute.
• It is not acceptable to "blame" the overweight for 1) poverty; 2) crime; 3) war atrocities; or 4) global warming. It's ludicrous on all four counts.

So there. It's my blog and you can comment if you want to.

Save the Whales

2007-07-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

Apparently fat people are responsible not only for the loss of proper aesthetics in the Western world and the decline of civilization in general, but also the rapid spread of global warming, the decline of the polar bear, and other sorts of impending global disasters.

Are we bad, or what?

This is the report coming from London public health professor Ian Roberts, writing in the latest issue of New Scientist in an article titled "Say No to Global Guzzling."

There is, says Roberts, a clear link between the world obesity "epidemic" and the rise of global warming.

Gee, and I thought it had something to do with ozone and carbon emissions. Oh no! Wait! We're like cows emitting vast amounts of methane, perhaps? Oh, no, I was wrong. It's because fat people drive cars and use other "labor-saving devices." Americans are particularly at fault, says the veddy British prof, because we are such a fat nation that we drive even more cars and use even more labor-saving devices.

Overweight people also ratchet up the global warming effect by eating more food, which results in more food production, which requires more of those labour-saving devices and manufacturing process.

Then after we eat all that extra food, we, uh, create more "organic waste," so to speak, producing the dreaded methane.

And we take up more room and get hotter and run our air conditioning more, so we're using up more fuel, too.

So, let me get this straight. ONLY fat people drive cars and use "labor-saving devices." And since overweight people are bigger they must eat much more food and create more manufacturing--because, of course, that food wouldn't be produced if there were no fat people in the world.

The worst part of it is, says Dr. Roberts, is that -- heaven forbid -- the militant American fat people are actually "changing public policy and perceptions about obesity." Egads.

That would be disastrous, for fat people to receive equal treatment and acceptance, he says. "The social stigma attached to obesity is one of the few forces slowing the epidemic...How long before there are calls for energy-guzzling escalators, moving sidewalks and motorized mobility aids?"

We bad.

Activity That Belies My Girth

2007-07-08T09:43:00.000-07:00

There are some things that women of a certain age and size should not be doing, which is why I am here blogging at 8 a.m. on a hot, steamy Saturday instead of being where I need to be: namely, perched atop an 8-foot fiberglass ladder holding a bucket of paint while said ladder is placed precariously inside a 1930s-era cast-iron bathtub.

Yep, today is bathroom-painting day.

Now, you might say that even if you put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig. So putting a fresh coat of paint on an 80-year-old bathroom (which is the "new" part of my little cottage built in 1901) will not make it a spiffy oasis of modernity. But it is long overdue, since I've owned the house for 13 years and never painted it. Fresh paint won't make me forget the 1930s light fixtures that were surely the height of chic in their day. They still look pretty cool but don't work. And I might not notice the noisy, rattling original fan if it was surrounded by fresh, mocha-colored paint.

But de pain, boss, de pain.

Oh well, enough procrastinating. I'm off to put some lipstick on that pig.

H•A•T•E is a Four-Letter Word

2007-07-06T09:41:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty much aghast at a recent editorial by writer Jaime O'Neill that ran in a Sacramento newspaper.

Just when I start to think weight-related bigotry is isolated and rare, I come across something like this that makes my jaw drop.

Here are a few excerpts from "Fat Bastards: Today's Americans Have As Much Lard Between Their Ears As On Their Flabby Butts"--and, yes, that's the real title.

"[Fat people are] everywhere these days, people of a size once found only in tents where yokels paid a quarter to gawk at them. You’re not just fat; you’re huge, ponderous, beyond jumbo, a vast and undulating formidability of flesh, an avalanche of avoirdupois, a devolution of the species back to a future of protoplasmic balloon creatures. You’re becoming a living metaphor for the way the United States is viewed by much of the rest of the planet: a rapacious, gluttonous, insatiable nation of swine, the Pig People of North America, the fat neighbors who are fouling the whole neighborhood, consuming everything in sight, and strewing waste in your wake."

Or how about this:

"In Body Snatcher: 2007, the aliens have snatched the bodies of normal Americans and made them unable to wedge themselves into most public seating or, if able to sit, completely unable to extract their bloated butts from those no-longer-adequately-sized seats once their full weight has spread and settled."

Or here's a good one:

"Fat, dumb and ugly: We’re fat because we’re either too dumb or too lazy to either watch what we put in our mouths or take the trouble to inform ourselves of the high-fructose corn syrup added to nearly everything marketed as “convenience” food."

So who is this jerkoid? He makes some interesting points about American consumerism and the environment. But such hatred he spews!

Hope his hair falls out and he develops a pot belly from choking on his own venom, and his wife--should anyone be stupid enough to marry him--spikes all his food with HFCS until he bloats up to the size of a large land mammal.

Not that I'm spiteful or anything.

Declaration of Independence

2007-07-04T09:41:00.000-07:00

Happy belated 4th of July! I had a lovely time with friends, sitting around and reminiscing about my friend Debbie's beloved Greyhound Chevy, who had to be put to sleep the day before. And we were served traditional Fourth of July fare, and I did partake. I honestly thought about having the burger without the bun, and bringing my own side dishes, perhaps some faux-tato salad.

But for the day, at least, I had my own Declaration of Independence.

What does that mean? Maybe this:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all people are created equal regardless of their weight, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, the pursuit of Happiness, and the freedom to participate in social activities without feeling deprived or ostracized.

Of course, now I am paying the price for my Independence. Why does it have to be so hard?

The Fat Rant

2007-07-03T09:40:00.000-07:00

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Just in case you are one of the three people left in the universe who haven't seen Joy Nash's "fant rant" YouTube video, here it is. I finally watched it and it made me howl. It has gotten enough attention that Joy has been doing a lot of media appearances, even starting her own blog.

Wish I had more of her attitude and less of mine!

Back on the Straight and Narrow

2007-07-03T09:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, no more lollygagging. I finally reached some critical mass--ugh, poor choice of words, after regaining 10 lbs--on Saturday and restarted my dedicated low-carb regime. I'm not doing induction, just keeping net carbs about 30-30g per day and not really counting calories.

I thought about doing Kimkins again, but I'm not mentally prepared for that level of deprivation. I know my palJimmy Moore has been having a raging debate over at the LLVLC website about his success on Kimkins, and Kimkins does work. I lost 65 pounds on it last year.

And if you haven't done so, go on over to Jimmy's site (link above) and read some of the debate that's gone on over the past two or three weeks since he started the low-carb, lower-fat, low-calorie Kimkins program. I was particularly interested in Calianna's comments wondering where the difference lies in a Kimkins follower eating 800 calories a day and an anorexic eating 800 calories a day. When is starvation not starvation? And, to complicate matters, I know from my earlier stint on Kimkins--though this might have changed--that fiber was discouraged as being "too bulky" and the taking of Phillips Milk of Magnesia, a mini-dose, on a daily basis was encouraged for those for whom things weren't "moving," so to speak. The Kimkins philosophy is do what you need to do to get the weight off quickly, then you can get on with the rest of your life in a healthier way.

But for me, at this stage and given my current stress level (more on that later this week) I think a simpler, more generous low carb option is better.

Stay tuned.

I don't have any answers there, but it's an interesting discussion.

Eat Like an Egyptian

2007-06-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

I've been fascinated this week by the identification of an ancient Egyptian mummy as being that of Queen Hatshepsut, a powerful pharaoh -- the most powerful Egyptian queen -- who ruled in the 15th century B.C. She apparently was known for dressing like a man and wearing a false beard. Did they call it cross-dressing back then? I want my mummy!

Anyway, this mummy that was discovered back in 1903 was removed from its site in the Valley of the Kings two months ago and taken to Cairo for examination, at which time it was discovered that the mummy was missing a tooth--leaving a space that matches a tooth known to be from the queen.

So, besides being dentally challenged, what do we know about Hatshepsut? Interestingly, she was obese and had diabetes and, possibly, liver cancer. Whoa here. Didn't all Egyptian queens look like Liz Taylor in her Cleopatra gear?

Well, probably not. A little research into the dietary habits of ancient Egyptians shows that only the rich were able to have meat, and had it at every meal. Dairy products were also available for the wealthy. But the ancient Egyptians were major fans of bread--plain bread and sourdough bread. They had quite the sweet tooth, and used copious amounts of honey and dates to sweeten their breads and make cakes, particularly the wealthy. Beer was the beverage of choice; the wealthy could generally afford wine as well.

So Old Hatsy was a bread-eating, beer-guzzling rich lady with a weight issue. Or was it revered back this, a great weight a sign of wealth and power? Ironic considering too often today it's found among the least wealthy and least powerful.

To quote King Solomon, I guess there's really nothing new under the sun.

The Diet Plate--Revised

2007-06-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks to PJ of the excellent blog The Divine Low Carb for the idea. After I posted yesterday about the new Diet Plate being touted by the low-cal community, she wondered what a low-carb plate might look like.

Well that, of course, sent me into gales of laughter and a whole new project to test my Quark XPress and Photoshop skills.

So here's the result of my Low-Carb Plate project. Think this looks about right?

Home Plate

2007-06-28T09:00:00.000-07:00

According to the Archives of Internal Medicine, people have problems with portion sizes, and all that's needed is a bit of guidance.

Enter the Diet Plate, available in sizes for women, men and kids. There's even a Diet Bowl.

The Diet Plate folks claim it is "probably the truest product to ever come to market to help in combating and preventing obesity," which sounds like quite the hype. The plates are made in England by Royal Stafford Tableware and come with an eight-week weight management plan plus online support. The plate for women, they say, will allow you to eat your regular foods and lose 1-4 pounds a week for women who have fewer than 60 lbs to lose. If you need to lose more than 60 lbs, I'd imagine the rate of weight loss is greater.

It's an interesting idea, actually, once you get around the hype. Similar in idea to the fake foods you can buy to show you what a real portion should look like. If you're like me and have been known to "sneak" an extra bite or two of something, particularly something bad for you, or who can "eyeball" a one-cup measurement and really get something like three cups, it's an interesting idea.

But the written recommendations are the same old-same old:
Breakfast: 2 pieces of fruit and bowl of any cereal using The Diet Plate Calorie Controlled Breakfast Bowl, or 2 pieces of fruit, boiled egg and 1 slice of wholemeal toast.

Lunch (Female & Child): Choose any 300 - 400 calorie option. A small fun size banana or two small portions of fruit (not a kilo of grapes!) Drink water, tea, coffee or calorie free soda.

Dinner: Your own preference but served on The Diet Plate!

Aim to drink 8 glasses of water a day and include 400ml - 1/2 a pint of skimmed milk in your diet. Use a low calorie vegetable soup as a tummy filler for those hungry moments. Cut bread down to only two slices a day maximum. So if you’re having a sandwich at lunch this is your allowance.

Eat at least five portions of fruit and vegetables everyday.

So the Diet Plate is basically a gimmick to get you to follow a "balanced," very low calorie diet. Although, to give them credit, they recommend you avoid "puddings, sweets and sugary foods."

Aw, and I was just wondering how big the portion size for Krispy Kreme donuts was.

What a Sicko?

2007-06-27T08:59:00.000-07:00

So, filmmaking rabble-rouser Michael Moore is out on the interview circuit, talking about his new healthcare system expose, "Sicko." And while he's at it, he's sharing diet tips to share the wisdom he's learned in recently losing 30 pounds.

You have to exercise about 40 minutes a day, he says. You have to get lots of sleep. You have to eat lots of fiber. You have to not "diet" per se, but eat "heavy foods" that fill you up on fewer calories.

Wow.

So did Mr Moore lose the weight doing these things? Yes--that, plus a $3,800-per-week stay at the Pritikin Longevity Center & Spa, complete with a personal trainer. And we know what that means: super-low fat, to the tune of 10% of calories per day.

Wow indeed. Talk about doing it the hard way! (Although at least he did it, which is more than I can say for my wide and happy butt these days.)

Message in a Bottle

2007-06-27T08:58:00.000-07:00

I sit here this morning, typing and drinking a Diet Coke. Yes, I know. Horror of horrors. I'm a soda junkie. Not only am I a soda junkie, but I hated the Coke with Splenda, which I thought had a strange citrus-y taste, and am addicted to plain old Diet Coke with--eek--aspartame.

I've studiously avoided all the proclamations about the poisonous effects of aspartame, being old enough to remember the huge public outcry against the carcinogenic effects of saccharine in the 1970s. Which makes me old indeed, but that's another story for another day.

So now here's this new study from Environmental Health Perspectives, where the group of Italian researchers who did the initial damning study of aspartame--irritated that the FDA and European food regulatory agencies say aspartame is safe regardless of how much cancer their little aspartame-fed rats developed--have repeated their study. Results confirm an increase in lymphoma and breast cancer among rats fed a daily aspartame ration equivalent to average human ingestion.

Jeez Louise.

So, what's a girl to do? Well, right now, this girl has a meeting to go to. But I do think I'm gonna have to find a new soda to drink. What do you folks drink? (And if you say "water is all you need," well poo to you. I need SODA!)

Supplemental Income Needed

2007-06-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

So, what's your view on supplements?

I get spam e-mails occasionally from Prevention, king of the low-fat health magazines, and am always seduced a bit by their professionalism. Being in publishing myself, I've always found their books -- expensive books, by the way -- very attractive and fun to look through.

Today's e-mail blast, in large blue and green type: "Want to Lose 20-60 Pounds or More? You need help from the world's most effective "weight loss wonders"! You'll find them all in your free-preview copy of The Natural Fat-Loss Pharmacy!"

It's all about supplements. Dietary supplements -- I think today's buzzword is "nutraceuticals" -- you can take to "speed up the fat-burning process." Supplements that cost so much you practically need a "supplemental income," so to speak, to pay for them.

The late great Dr. Atkins got into dietary supplements as well--particularly his own brand of them--and I always wondered if they really made any difference or if it was just a clever money-making scheme. I note that Atkins Nutritionals stopped making them once the Atkins craze cooled off.

One of my favorite low-carb books is Jonny Bowden's Living the Low Carb Life, a most rational exploration of all the major low-carb or controlled carb eating plans.

He also highly advocates a number of supplements. Once, just to see what it would involve, I made a list of the recommended supplements and looked them up on the Vitacost website, and it totaled well over $100 for a month's worth of these "beneficial" food supplements. The list contained: GLA, Alpha Lipoic Acid, GTF Chromium, a B-Complex, a separate B5 supplement, Omega 3, L-Carnitine, 5-HTP, Magnesium, Green Tea Extract and L-Glutamine. I ended up buying a bottle of Centrum for $10 and leaving it at that except for a milk thistle/dandelion root combo for liver health that I started taking after having slightly elevated liver enzymes turn up on blood tests for a couple of years running.

But I wonder..... What do you take besides a multivitamin? And what does it do for you?

The Wacky World of Weight Loss

2007-06-24T08:57:00.000-07:00

A recent issue of Newsweek said it all: "The Dieter's Dilemma: People Will Try Almost Anything to Lose Weight. Really."

It was a lighthearted look at some of the currently fashionable fad diets--and, believe it or not, Atkins and Low-Carb didn't make the list, which means some small inroad into acceptability, I guess.

So, since I'm lollygagging around the last few months, are there any of these to capture my interest and get me back on track?

The Astrology Diet. In which your diet and exercise type are dictated by your astrological sign. I'm a Taurus, so, according to diet developers Ellen Barrett (a trainer) and Barrie Dolnick (an astrologer), I find great pleasure in eating so a restrictive diet will not work with me, and I thrive on "gentle but thorough" workouts, preferably at home. Yeah, well, okay.

The Blood Type Diet. Peter D'Amato's theory that what you eat should be dictated by your blood type. The popularity, Newsweek surmises, is that it makes people think it's more personalized. Which is all fine and good, I say, until you realize that 72% of Americans and Europeans have either O+ or A+ blood types, so how personalized can it be, really?

Single Food Diets are making a comeback. Grapefruit diet, cabbage soup diet, pineapple diet, popcorn diet. Been there, done that.

Detox Diets, popular these days, theorize that cleansing out your system is good for you and good for your weight. But, really. "Cleansing with Colonics," called for by diets like 21 Pounds in 21 Days, means, quite simply, enemas. Let 'em stick that diet where the sun don't shine.

The Maple-Syrup Diet, made famous by Beyonce, who used it to trim down for "Dreamgirls." Dieters drink 2 Tbsp maple syrup, 2 Tbsp lemon juice, a pinch of cayenne pepper and a cup of water, several times a day. Uh, no.

Remember? I'm Taurus. I find great pleasure in eating.

Onion Rings & Carrots

2007-06-22T08:56:00.000-07:00

I'm still not too keen on Hilary Clinton, and thankfully this isn't a political blog so I don't have to make my mind up and make any kind of endorsement yet!

But you have to admit her video sendup of the Sopranos finale is pretty funny. Of course, Bill steals the show.

He joins Hilary at a diner full of common folk--just the sort of place the Clintons probably eat every day (snort snort)--and as Bill is seated, the waitress plops down a plate of carrot sticks.

Dejected, Bill asks why he can't have onion rings, and he munches sadly on a crispy carrot stick while Hilary tells him she's looking out for him.

I feel his pain.

Happiness is Egg Shaped

2007-06-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

Those of us who have eaten low-carb for any amount of time at all have eaten our share of eggs. Boiled, scrambled, fried, cooked in an omelet with just about anything, in a crustless quiche...well, you get the picture. Eggs are our friends.

So in a typical bit of stupidity, we have a story from CalorieLab that the Egg Information Service in the UK was all set to re-release this 1950s TV ad about the perfect protein of eggs when they were blocked from doing so by the "Broadcast Advertising Clearance Centre," which regulates advertising standards.

The BACC was concerned that the 50-year-old ad celebrating the egg with classic comedian Tony Hancock would send unsuspecting Brits into a dangerous way of eating. BACC spokesman Kristoffer Hammer said it was not a question of whether an egg a day would cause any harm, but that it should be served with fruit juice and toast. Fruit juice and toast! Heck, might as well add a Snickers Bar as well.

Anyway, enjoy the classic ad that won't be running on TV in the UK anytime soon.

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Let Us Entertain You

2007-06-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

I know this has nothing to do with anything I usually do on this blog--it's a cross-post from my New Orleans post-Katrina blog. But I thought I'd share...

Here is the trailer for the new Fox drama about post-Katrina New Orleans. It made me cry. I don't think that's the reaction they're going for and I'm sure it will be entertaining for the rest of the world and I know New Orleans needs the revenue filming this here will bring, but I don't think I'm ready for it. What do you think?

Popo

Left Behind

2007-06-20T05:31:00.000-07:00

There's an interesting correlation between a couple of news stories out today.

The first is the results of three large national database studies showing that between 1971 and 2000 the death rate of men with diabetes has dropped significantly and is in line with the overall rate of decline in death rate among all Americans. The same is not true, however, of women with diabetes, whose death rate did not decline at all.

One of the researchers concluded: "The improvements seen in men suggest that the improvements in diabetes care are working on longevity as well. But the finding in women is concerning and means we may need to explore whether different approaches are needed to improve health outcomes for women with diabetes."

One answer -- one very big, systemic answer -- might be found by reading between the lines of health guidelines being given to women. Take, for example, the recent eating guidelines from the American Heart Association, which one of my favorite blogs, Junkfood Science, rips apart at the seams. Go and read author Sandy Szwarc's breakdown of the AHA recommendations.

In short, though, she points out that:

1) The AHA Guidelines state that to prevent heart disease and premature death, women should maintain or lose weight and maintain a BMI between 18.5 and 24.9 with a waist circumference of 35 inches. However, when the studies to support this recommendation are examined, there are ZERO clinical studies cited to support that women who lose weight live longer or decrease their chances of cardiac disease.

2) The AHA recommends that women consume no more than one alcoholic drink daily. However, an examination of their 54 pieces of "evidence" shows that few were actually clinical trials, and most were conducted only on men. And the AHA expert committee even noted that the results "are not applicable to women."

3) The AHA says to prevent heart disease and increase longevity, women should consume ample fruits and vegetables; eat whole-grain, high-fiber foods; consume fish at least twice a week; limit saturated fat to less than 10% of calories (7% is preferred), and limit sodium to approximately 1 teaspoon of salt a day. Trans fats should make up less than 1% of calories.

To support these recommendations, the AHA cites a whopping 94 studies. However, as Sandy of Junkfood Science discovered, 36 of the studies included no women and the AHA committee noted they were not applicable to women. Another 8 studies were not applicable because they were studies of previous cardiac patients, not prevention studies related to the guidelines. Forty-eight of the studies were observational and could not point conclusively to causal relationships between diet and disease. Only one study was a clinical intervention trial.

Sandy's conclusion: "Not one observational study was able to credibly support the AHA heart healthy eating recommendations for women to prevent heart disease or premature death. The only observational study specifically looking at Healthy Eating in accordance with our government’s dietary guidelines found no benefit. And finally, the strongest evidence — an actual clinical trial of the heart healthy diet on the primary prevention of heart disease in women, that went on for more than 8 years — found it had no effect on heart disease."

So, let's go back to the first data about how women with diabetes aren't experiencing the decline in mortality enjoyed by their male counterparts and non-diabetic Americans as a whole. Is it apples and oranges? I really don't think so. Until and unless we develop a body of clinical work specifically studying the effects of diet and disease on women, we're going to lag behind on more than just pay rates.

Okay. Off the soapbox now. Jeez. I sound like a feminazi. I'm not. Really.

The Poop on Poopy Pants

2007-06-19T05:30:00.000-07:00

Well, that got your attention, didn't it?

Actually, I'm talking about a bit of an advertising war between GlaxoSmithKline's new OTC diet drug, Alli, and the OTC weight-loss drug Leptopril from Generix Labs.

Seems Generix created an ad for Leptopril based on its lacking some of the ugly side effects of Alli, a lower-strength form of the diet drug Orlistat. The side effect in question? Poopy pants.

Alli basically forces you to eat a very low-fat diet while taking it by causing uncontrolled diarrhea and, well, poopy pants if you eat too much fat. Leptopril is the drug with the obnoxious commercials that say "don't buy this product unless you're significantly overweight because it works too well for the casual dieter," or some such nonsense.

But anyway, when CBS, NBC and ABC all rejected the Poopy Pants commercial, saying it was in bad taste, Generix placed their ad on YouTube and other video spots. And you gotta admit, it is pretty funny.

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Yeah, Well, At Least I Don't Have a Square Head

2007-06-16T05:29:00.000-07:00

Which is pretty much my response to American Medical Association president William Plested, who spoke recently to a civic group about what he thinks is ailing American healthcare.

Is it obesity? No.
Is it the aging of the giant Baby Boom generation?
Is it a shortage of nurses?

No.

It's the legal system and the fact that people can actually--gasp--sue their physicians if they do a poor job and cause more problems than they help.

Now, I admit this has become an overly litigious society, and everyone's answer to everything is "sue the bas..uh...bad guys."

But to blame every healthcare system ailment and, by association, every health problem society faces, to physicians' fear of lawsuits seems a bit over the top.

And, yes, part of my gripe with Dr. Spongebill Squarehead, pictured above, is that he said the result of all these lawsuits-in-the-making is that "we're going to pay for this with a generation of fatso's with every disease you can imagine."

Gasp. Not FATSO'S!!

Sheesh. Maybe I will sue the bas...bombastic boxhead.

Raising the Cereal Bar?

2007-06-15T05:29:00.000-07:00

At first I called it "baby steps," today's news that The Kellogg Co. has adopted new nutritional standards for its products that are marketed to children.

It's a huge step for a company to take, I thought when I first heard the news--a big old company voluntarily making its products healthier. A lot of tinkering will be going on in the old cereal labs, I thought.

So, what are the new "nutritional standards?"

Basically, they set an upper limit of 200 calories per serving maximum, 2 grams or fewer of saturated fat, 0 trans fat, 230 milligrams or fewer of sodium, and 12 grams or fewer of sugar.

How does this compare with some of their currently marketed products?

Well, a pop tart (hot chocolate flavor) has 200 calories, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 200 mg of sodium and 18 grams of sugar. So basically, the pop tart has to trim only 6 grams of sugar to make the cut. (And this is for one Pop Tart and does anyone really eat just one? Really? You leave the other one in that little foil bag? Not me!)

Froot Loops? 120 calories, .5g saturated fat, 140mg sodium, 13g sugar. Virtually no change.

Rice Krispy Treats? 100 calories, 3.5g saturated fat, 95mg sodium, 10g sugar. Virtually no change.

And on and on it goes. So the crafty folks at Kellogg have made this big media splash about all they are doing for our obese kids while, really, they set the "bar" so low that they barely have to lift a foot to climb over it.

Jonesing for a Soda?

2007-06-15T05:28:00.000-07:00

So sue me--I am a soda fanatic. I even love Diet Coke, aspartame and all, even though I recognize that it's probably pickling my interior regions with formaldehyde as we speak.

So I was surprised--and pleased--to find a new offering at Wally World last week...Wally World, I might add, that in New Orleans since Katrina barely has any regular supply of merchandise at all and can take weeks before a sold-out item is restocked. And, yes, remember the post-Katrina footage of hooligans ransacking a Wal-Mart and hauling out electronics and massive amounts of Nikes? Well, that was my neighborhood Wal-Mart. But I digress.

So there on the shelf was a sugar-free Jones Soda. I was surprised, since the uber-hip, cultish Jones Sodas are known for their radical refusal to sweeten with high-fructose corn syrup. Their bottles, in fact, boast that they are "Pure Cane Sugar Sodas." So to see sugar-free was surprising.

I snapped up an overpriced four-pack and took it home. As I sipped a fizzy, refreshing, extremely tasty Sugar-Free Green Apple (sweetened with Splenda), I read the bottle, about how for years people had been begging them for a sugar-free soda but they never could find a taste they liked and that lived up to their standards.

Well, I guess they found it and I have to agree--it's mighty tasty. I notice on their website that they make sell sugar-free cream soda, root beer, and black cherry soda. Finding it is a bigger challenge, as I don't have much hope that Wal-mart will carry it long-term or in any variety of flavors. I think that was a fluke.

Probiotic vs Prebiotic

2007-06-13T05:27:00.000-07:00

So yesterday, Regina from the top-notch blog Weight of the Evidence pointed out that I had referred to inulin as a probiotic when, actually, it is a prebiotic. And, as another reader asked: What's the difference?

Good question, actually, because we're seeing these terms thrown around a lot these days as more "functional foods" come online. And when you see TV commercials talking about Dannon yogurt with "L casei Immunitas," I guess it's time to find out just what the terms mean. (More on "L casei Immunitas" later.)

For a definitive answer, I went to the godfather of all references, the Oxford English Dictionary--one bonus of working for a university is online access to this beautiful monstrosity.

And here we have it. A "prebiotic" is a non-digestible food ingredient that selectively promotes the growth of beneficial bacteria in the intestine. The beneficial bacteria themselves are "probiotics." So inulin, which I wrote about yesterday, is a prebiotic because it promotes the healthy bacteria. The term "probiotic" first appeared in 1995 in a Journal of Nutrition article--which is the kind of trivia one obtains from reading the OED. We also find that the two main prebiotics are the non-digestible oligosaccharides inulin and oligofructose, the richest nutritional sources of which are chicory root, Jerusalem artichokes, leeks and onions.

Oligofructose is used in what I personally think is the best low-carb chocolate, made by Maine Cottage Foods, which is sweetened with a blend of erythritol, Splenda and Ace-K.

But I digress, which I tend to do when there's chocolate around :-)

What Dannon touts in its Activia and DanActive yogurts--even the "plain" also contains sugar, by the way, so don't go rushing out to buy any--are "L casei Immunitas" and "Bifidus Regularis," which are really the company's own blends of probiotics (bacteria, or live cultures) that they claim promote a healthy immune system (immunitas) and bowel health (regularis). They don't tell us what the blend is--it's their "trade secret"--and tout that they're the only yogurts to have it. (Well, of course they are--Dannon made the blends up, including their "official" fake Latin names. Duh.)

But I don't eat that sugar-laden junk anyway. What I DO eat is plain Lifeway Kefir, which with a splash of DaVinci syrup makes a great yogurt smoothie. It contains 10 active probiotics:

Lactobacillius Lactis
Lactobacillus Rhamnosus
Streptococcus Diacetylactis
Lactobacillus Plantarum
Lactobacillius Casei
Saccharomyces Florentinus
Leuconostoc Cremoris
Bifidobacterium Longum
Bifidobacterium Breve
Lactobacillus Acidophilus

What do all those probiotic bugs do for me? Couldn't tell you. But it tastes really good with some DaVinci Sugar-Free Irish Cream or Kahlua. And, yes, we could talk about spiking healthy yogurt with chemical-laden artificial sweetener. But that's a biology lesson for another day. Class is dismissed!

Out of the Inbox

2007-06-13T05:26:00.000-07:00

Just cleaning out the files...

• Have you read about the new "Jelly Belly" diet pill? It's a new Italian creation, but unfortunately doesn't offer the flavor offerings of real Jelly Bellies. Instead, the idea is that you swallow this pill and it inflates to a gelatinous mass the size of a tennis ball in your stomach. Makes you feel full and you don't want to eat as much. It eventually dissolves and goes out in the usual manner as if you had simply eaten 42 cups of Jell-O. I think if the scientists hadn't used the words "gelatinous mass" I could get into it a little more. Still, cheaper than gastric bypass.

• Just in case you didn't think most foods' health claims were a bogus bunch of advertising fluff, here comes Frito Lay, who decided that since they have switched to using more non-saturated fat in their chips, they can now make health claims for Ruffles. It seems to be under serious consideration by the FDA, which I think once this passes can officially change its name to the Food Disaster Administration.

• A recent survey by the NDP market research group found that 70 percent of adult Americans want to cut down or avoid sugar completely, with 40 percent saying they check food labels for sugar content. As a result, food manufacturers are responding to the resultant demand for more reduced-sugar or sugar-free products. Great! Well, except that the survey analysts stated that Americans had gotten on an anti-sugar kick in the 1960s, too, and we apparently got over it.

• The buzz over probiotics continues. This latest, from a food industry newsletter, says the science is "building" behind the use of the probiotic ingredient inulin. Inulin is a root fiber that promotes probiotic bacteria in the gut, has a sweet taste, and is classified as a soluble fiber. The latest study, published in Nutrition Research, shows that probiotics such as inulin, consumed regularly, help protect against colon cancer.

Microwave of Evil

2007-06-12T05:25:00.000-07:00

How often do you use the microwave oven? I'm thinking, for myself, at least once a day--sometimes more. I tend to reheat more than actually cook in it. I know some low-carbers cook eggs in it but I've never liked them microwaved.

But I also don't blame my microwave for any weight problems that might be found in my household.

Under the heading of "stupid health stories," file this under "REALLY stupid." A UK professor claims thatmicrowave ovens triggered the rise in obesity.

Say huh?

Because the increase in microwave usage parallels the increase in obesity from the 1980s, this undoubtedly means that the microwave did it. Sounds kinda like the "Devil Made Me Do It" defense, and where's Flip Wilson when you need him? Oh yeah, he's dead.

Probably microwaved himself into a size 10X.

And if you need further proof of the evils of microwave cooking, look on the front of your microwave. Chances are you'll find convenient settings for popcorn and potatoes.

So toss out your microwaves, one and all! Heat up your big ovens. Pop in a cake. Obviously, if it ain't cooked in the microwave, the calories don't count.

Porky for President?

2007-06-11T05:24:00.000-07:00

I guess it was inevitable, as more and more folks talk about Al Gore as a desired presidential candidate, that talk would turn to his weight. Now, obviously, Al has put on a few. But does his weight make him a worse candidate for president than others? Aren't there better things to make fun of him for?

Guess not, according to the pundits on this recent clip from Chris Matthews' "Hardball" show.

They could at least have joked about him increasing sales of low-carb products and not SlimFast!

Livin' Large

2007-06-08T05:23:00.000-07:00

So, I'm always fascinated by what marketers and retailers think Big People need and want in their lives. It can make quite the sociological study.

Obviously, for example, women's clothing manufacturers and retailers have several preconceived notion about overweight women:

Our arms hang down beyond our knees so we need extremely long sleeves;
We are very fond of very large prints;
We enjoy clingy midriff tops (preferably in very large prints);
Novelty items with pigs, elephants, or cows on them are big favorites, so that we can invite rude comments from strangers; and
Two words: fluffy chiffon.

Note to manufacturers: these assumptions are not true.

So it was with extreme interest that I came across the LivingXL website, with products designed for plus-sized men and women.

And what do the folks at LivingXL think we need? Let's see: robes up to 8x; super-sized towels; hand-held showers; and the "Big John" toilet seat that holds up to 1,200 pounds. Egads. High-capacity scales. Hmm..a Leg Lifter. Wonder what that does? A "bottom buddy." That's in the personal hygiene category and I don't want to delve too deeply into its use. Large patient gowns--and if you've ever gone to the doctor and had to don a gown that doesn't quite meet you'd see the beauty of having your own. Large-sized life jackets. Don't laugh--I have one of these, for those Hurricane Katrina-like events. I also own an inflatable boat for the same reason, but that's a topic for my other blog. Benches. Picnic tables. Are picnic benches a problem for overweight people? Ah, an airplane seatbelt extender, which you can choose by airline. Travel iron. Uh...fat people need special travel irons? How have I lived this long without realizing that? Oversized clothes hangers. Now that's a great idea.

Oh well.

I'm making light of all this, and admittedly some of the items are pretty strange. But others sound dead-useful, so why not.

On the other hand, let's see what we can do about those orangutan arms that manufacturers insist on putting on plus-size clothing.

Kimkins Revisited

2007-06-07T05:22:00.000-07:00

Like many of you who are fans and/or followers of low carb, I'm an avid reader of Jimmy Moore's Livin' La Vida Low Carb blog. He is, after all, the poster child for the active, successful low-carber and has been so supportive of so many of us who read his blog.

While Jimmy runs a lot of ads for the Kimkins program and reports on its many success stories, I was really surprised to read this recent post that Jimmy, who has had an amazing success with losing weight on Atkins, was going the Kimkins route himself due to a little bit of what I call "creepage and leakage" on his weight.

I have really mixed feelings about the Kimkins program.

Does it work? Oh, heck yes. I lost about 40 of my 65-pound loss last year on Kimkins and have tentatively been planning to do another Kimkins round later this summer when I have a few months without any big conflicts like trips or houseguests. So probably about August 1. Sound like an excuse to postpone? Probably, but from a voice of experience.

Why do I feel the need to plan to go on Kimkins so carefully? Because it's very, very, very unforgiving. And it's not for the faint of heart. You have to commit 110% and be absolutely unswayed.

I haven't been back to the Kimkins site (linked above) in several months, and it sounds as if there are some more variations to the plan than when I was on it last summer.

Basically, Kimkins--at that time, at least--was both low carb and low fat and very low calorie. You ate the basic Atkins Induction diet except all the protein had to be lean, and it was limited to a certain # of ounces per day, or as little as possible to stave off hunger. Most people posting on the Kimkins chat boards were eating fewer than 800 or 900 calories per day, and mine added up to about 900-950. I reached the Kimkims-desired state of SNATT (slightly nauseous all the time), which meant that even though I felt a deep, deep emptiness, I didn't really feel the need to eat. But even one or two off-plan bites would send me into a weeklong stall. Once, when I was only losing two pounds a week and sent in my menus in frustration--after all, I was eating 900 calories a day--I was told that I should cut back on fat.

Seems very counter-intuitive to a traditional low-carb plan. And when I added in more fat and calories and went back to Atkins, I started losing weight again.

But who am I to question any plan since I've been doodling around not accomplishing much of anything the past few months? Kimkins does work, and it works quickly--which is plan founder Kimmer's whole point (she lost about 200 pounds on the plan), that you lose your weight fast and get on with your life. And I will likely go back on it this summer to kick-start my weight loss. I'll check to see if there are other variations to the basic plan now and report back. Stay tuned.

Oh, and best of luck, Jimmy! I'll be following your Kimkins progress with great interest--please give us frequent updates.

Off the Rails

2007-06-07T05:21:00.000-07:00

I've been out galavanting around the Southeastern US the past few days, averaging more than four hours in the car each day with gas at $3 a gallon, but let's not even talk about that.

On the other hand, let's talk about gas prices because we really, really don't need to be talking about my unabashed, off-the-rails three days of eating fast-food in the car.

I did have a real sit-down dinner one time, at an Italian joint--don't ask--and one sit-down lunch at one of those pizza-and-sandwich bistro type places, where I had an interesting conversation (held over a lunch whose contents I'd rather not discuss but let's just say there was white flour involved) about how weight-loss programs are so very difficult to maintain concurrently with a social life.

Yeah, an excuse, I know. But it does make it hard unless you're as focused as a terrier after a...well, after anything. Terriers are really focused.

So I'm still having trouble -- after two months of this -- getting my groove back and stringing more than a few good days together at a time.

On the positive side, I've been able to maintain my 65-lb loss. On the negative side, I've been maintaining it for about three months now.

(Knocking on skull)Must.get.out.of.this.funk.

Oh, Rebiana

2007-06-02T05:19:00.000-07:00

Now here's a scoop for you--Cargill, an "agribusiness," and Coca-Cola have filed 24 patent applications for a new artificial sweetener made from the herb Stevia.

I've read a lot about Stevia over the years but have never tried it--isn't it a little bitter?

I like the idea of this, since theoretically it would involve fewer chemicals in the diet sodas I can't seem to give up.

Anyway, this little article is short on details but does say the product's tentative name is Rebiana. And how, I ask, do they come up with names like that? At least "Splenda" and "Equal" have names that are supposed to conjure up "splendid" and "equal to sugar."

Bad news for us here in the USA: since Stevia is only approved here as a food supplement and not a food additive, the first products are likely to be outside the US. Among the countries recognizing Stevia as a food additive are Japan, Brazil and China. What about you readers out there in Great Britain or France?

However, Cargill is thought to be working on clinical trials of the sweetener and planning to use the results to petition the Food and Drug Adminstration (FDA) for permission to use rebiana as a food additive in the US.

Stevia is a member of the daisy family, and the extract is said to have up to 300 times the sweetness of sugar.

By the way, I'm out of town for a few days. Look for me back and blogging on Wednesday!

What the World Eats

2007-06-01T03:12:00.000-07:00

Fascinating issue of Time magazine is out, focusing on The Science of Appetite and the way we eat. There are several parts to the special report.

"The Science of Appetite" (link above) talks about how we're hardwired to overeat, often the wrong things, and how complex is the whole subject of appetite and weight. It's quite even-handed and doesn't begin spewing the low-fat mantra.

"How to Curb Your Appetite" offers no surprises: eat fiber, eat regular meals, brush your teeth when you're hungry. Nothing new. Although it was interesting in what it calls the "Big Three" of diets: Atkins, Weight Watchers and Ornish, and the downside of each. The downside of Atkins is that it's hard to stick to long-term; the downside of WW is that you get hungry (duh) because it espouses portion control based purely on calories; the downside of Ornish is that it's so strict it's impossible to stay on it.

But, for me, here's one really interesting part of this package of stories--"A New Diet Equation"--that talks about why and how different diets seem to work for different types of people. If you are someone who has developed metabolic resistance you likely gain weight in your midsection and have the classic "apple" shape. Apple shapes lose weight best--and keep it off longer--on low-glycemic diets. Period. End of sentence. Pear shapes can lose on either low-fat or low-carb in about equal measure, but tend to gain the weight back faster regardless of how they lost it. And the article talks about the difference between low-carb and low-glycemic diets and says that while both approaches result in greater weight loss than low-fat diets for "Apples," low-carb is faster, more effective, and also more difficult to do.

Another interesting part of the issue is What the World Eats, a photo-essay of a sample family in different countries, with their weekly food bill amount and their favorite foods. It was interesting to me because it really shows how homogeneous the "developed" world is. Samples:

Japan: $317.25 a week. Favorite foods: sashimi; fruit; cake; potato chips
Italy: $260.11 a week. Favorite foods: fish; pasta with ragu; hot dogs; frozen fish sticks
Kuwait: $221.45 a week. Favorite food: chicken biryani with basmati rice
USA: $341.98 a week. Favorite foods: spaghetti; potatoes; sesame chicken
Mexico: $189.09 a week. Favorites: pizza; crab; pasta; chicken
England: $253.15 a week. Favorites: avocado; mayonnaise sandwich; prawn cocktail; chocolate fudge cake with cream
Germany: $500.07 a week. Favorites: Fried potatoes with onions, bacon and herring; fried noodles with eggs and cheese; pizza; vanilla pudding

Remind me to blog sometime about mayonnaise sandwiches. I'm astounded they appeared in England.

There are also articles on "The Biggest Loser" show, a funny first-person by a reporter who undergoes a two-day "master cleanse" fast and lives to write about it--albeit very grumpily, and a "How the World Eats" article to accompany the photo-essay.

A really fascinating issue--check it out.

A Warped View of Our Bodies, Ourselves

2007-06-01T03:11:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all your comments on the post about "American Idol" Jordin Sparks and some skinny blonde anti-obesity lamebrain's comments about her being a bad role model for teens because of her weight.

I was particularly struck by Sheena's remark that Jordin is a size 12, and I just had to laugh and shake my head.

When I graduated from high school back in "the day" oh so long ago, I weighed 130 pounds and wore a size 12. I thought I was a hippo unfit for human society and had by that point been put on every diet known to humankind by my misguided but well-meaning mom who feared I'd end up like my dad's side of the family. You know, "big" people. I starved, exercised to distraction, sneaked food when I couldn't stand it any longer, and could never get below 130. In the process I set up a lifetime of binge eating and bad habits and metabolic resistance.

And now I'd kill to weigh 130, or anything close to it. I look back at photos of myself from that time and think, "I wasn't fat at all--how could I have thought I was?" And I don't know, except even then a size 12 made you a "big" person in terms of what we saw on TV, in magazines, and praised among the "popular" kids in school (as opposed to my geek-pals). If only we could protect our daughters and nieces from buying into what society says they should look like and just reinforce the positives of letting them be who they are.

Jordin Sets a Bad Example? Puh-leeze.

2007-05-30T03:09:00.000-07:00

Popout

I don't know much about the National Action Against Obesity and its founder MeMe Roth, but check out this video from Fox News' Neil Cavuto "Common Sense" show.

Arrggghhh (sound of hair tearing from scalp).

Ms. Roth, or should I say MeMe--because it's obviously all about HerHer--is on a rant about how Jordin Sparksshould not win "American Idol" because in her "obesity" she sets a bad example for teens. Okay, let me get this straight. This is a smart, pretty, enormously talented 17-year-old who is not anorexic but, I mean, really, this is a singing competition, right? And we don't want her as an example for our kids.

By this way of thinking, then, I suppose MeMe would think Paris and Lindsay are great teen role models in their anorexic state. (Not pudgy Britney, though.)

How really warped is this line of thinking? Is it just me?

Aarrrggg (more hair ripping from scalp).

Skinny Bitch

2007-05-26T03:06:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not going on a rant about one of my coworkers, or even Paris Hilton.

Skinny Bitch is actually a "diet" book--and I use the term loosely--by Kim Barnouin and Rory Freedman. Once I found it was the diet rage among such celebrity "role models" as Posh Spice, I knew it had to be ~~ludicrous~~entertaining. Its subtitle: "A no-nonsense tough-love guide for savvy girls who want to stop eating crap and start looking fabulous." The authors are "former models," which means they wouldn't know a weight problem if it bit them on their skinny butts.

This isn't a new book, I discovered--Jimmy Moore did a rant, and rightly so, about it last year. But I missed it somehow. And just in case you did too, here are some excerpts from Skinny Bitch. Draw what conclusions you will, but WARNING: It's pro-vegan and they call anyone who does Atkins a "total moron." Hey, don't Vegans kill their babies?

• "Brace yourselves, girls. Soda is liquid Satan. It is the devil. It is garbage. There is nothing in soda that should be put into your body.… Diet soda is even worse. Aspartame…turns into formaldehyde. Laboratory scientists use formaldehyde as a disinfectant or preservative. They don't f***ing drink it. Perhaps you have a lumpy ass because you are preserving your fat cells with diet soda."

•• Never before has the United States seen such a ridiculous diet trend as the "low-carb" phenomenon. Every restaurant, grocery story, and fast-food chain caters to this utter nonsense...Everyone has jumped on the bandwagon, hoping to capitalize on the trend, whether it is healthy or not. Not."

•• "Another worker at another plant said, 'I personally have seen rotten meat--you can tell by the odor. This rotten meat is mixed with the fresh meat and sold for baby food. We are asked to mix it with the fresh food, and that is the way it is sold. You can see the worms inside the meat."

•• "Mother Nature is no fool. All species, including ours, have just what we need to get by. She did not intend for grownups to suck their mothers' t**ts. We don't need our mothers' milk as adults, just like grown cows don't need their mothers' milk anymore. We are the only species on the planet that drinks the milk of another species. We could be putting gorilla milk on our cereal or having zebra milk and cookies."

•• "Fruits and vegetables are the answer. And unless you are an idiot who wants cancer, obesity and enlarged organs, organic is the way to go. You are what you eat."

•• "If we had a penny for every time some meathead asked us, "So where do you get your protein?" we'd be richer than Oprah. Have you ever, ever, ever in your entire life heard of anyone suffering from a protein deficiency? Did you ever see an elephant, moose or giraffe jonesing for a protein fix? It's a complete myth that we need a massive amount of protein."

And I must know: How do they KNOW the moose down the block isn't jonesing for a protein fix? Or a bite of cheese?

Sugar....Oh, Honey, Honey

2007-05-25T03:04:00.000-07:00

Remember that old song by the Archies? "Sugar. Oh, honey, honey. You are like candy, girl,and you got me wanting you." And what a stupid idea for a band were the Archies anyway? Did Jughead sing backing vocals?

But I digress. Check out this amazingly intelligent article from The Economist about rat poison. No, I don't mean my pal Jimmy Moore's total characterization of sugar as rat poison, but instead what I believe to be the worst of the many types of rat poison: high fructose corn syrup.

Anyway, this little Economist piece rightly, I think, points the finger of blame at HFCS and its effects on Americans in particular for any number of a host of health problems. The combination of Japanese technology, and flawed American agricultural policies in the late 1970s, has been a killer. Literally.

Donald Trump Needs Your Money

2007-05-25T03:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah, yeah. I know. Eat more chicken and fish. Eat more veggies. Pork is the other white meat.

But don't you just love a good steak?

I have trouble finding a good steak, frankly. I can buy one that looks nicely marbled and it still end up tougher than John Wayne's boot leather despite my best marinades and pre-grill TLC.

I have ordered from Omaha Steaks before but when you live in a city that could double as a blast-furnace between May and November, getting anything frozen delivered is sort of a joke.

But there's a new player in the mail-order beef biz: The Donald. Just check out Trump Steaks. Ah, yes, this has the makings of a joke all over it. But, alas, no.

And it makes a great Father's Day gift, according to the Sharper Image folks, who are selling the steaks online. There are Filet Mignons, New York Strips, Cowboy Bone-In Rib Eyes, Porterhouses and Trump Steak Burgers. You can get four of each type of steak and 24 burgers for a mere $1,000.

Okey-dokey. Back to Wal-Mart for me.

Big Fat Pigs. And cows. And farmers.

2007-05-24T12:08:00.000-07:00

A truly astounding story in the Wall Street Journal (only available by subscription online) tells what the recent rise in corn prices has done to our meat supply. Or, actually, what the ranchers and farmers are doing to pigs, cows and chickens.

Now, think about it. If your Miss Piggy and Mr. Cow and Henny Penny were all used to eating corn but all those nasty environmentalists who wanted ethanol to run their machinery and reduce their carbon footprints were hogging all the corn, what would you do? Well, what's cheap? Hmmm. How about JUNK FOOD?

So, the WSJ article quotes a livestock nutritionist who are supplementing their grain with other items. "Besides trail mix, pigs and cattle are downing cookies, licorice, cheese curls, candy bars, french fries, frosted wheat cereal and peanut butter cups," said David Funderburke, a livestock nutritionist at Cape Fear Consulting in Warsaw, N.C. "Some farmers mix chocolate powder with cereal and feed it to their baby pigs. It's kind of like getting Cocoa Puffs."

Idaho ranchers aren't doing much better. According to the article, they are feeding their cattle uncooked french fries, Tater Tots and hash browns by the truckload.

Grass, people. Have you ever heard of GRASS?

The Stupidest Rape Defense Ever

2007-05-24T12:07:00.000-07:00

I'm still steaming over this story about a gang-rape case in England in which the attorney for the rapists claimed the 16-year-old victim "may have been glad for the attention" since despite recently losing weight she still weighed 174 pounds. Now, I realize it's just another sleazy legal maneuver to blame the victims--reference was also made to the clothing being worn not just by these girls but by young teen girls in general. I mean, really. Can anyone be that stupid? Apparently so.

All the News That Fits

2007-05-23T12:07:00.000-07:00

Sorry for "falling down on the job" lately--some things going on I don't want to jinx by writing about yet. Hang tight.

In the meantime, there's been a lot of (the usual conflicting) health news out recently. A recap:

•• The diabetes drug Avandia is about to join Vioxx in the lawsuit game as researchers are finding a correlation between the drug and heart disease. I took Vioxx at a high dose for arthritis a while back, and finally quit taking it because of heart palpitations. And THEN I heard about the problems. So the FDA contends with that constant tug of war between making drugs available quickly to people who need them vs. longterm testing for safety.

•• Arrgghh. This study coming out of Calgary is making the rounds to reinforce those belonging to the Church of Low-Fat Dining. According to the study, women who consume a high-fat diet while pregnant pass on a greater possibility of their children becoming diabetic. Well, the women's diets were low fiber and no info as to sugar. Duh.

•• So, according to Chicago's public health commissioner the reason so many kids these days are obese is because their moms work outside the home. Yep, moms staying home baking cookies with the rugrats would certainly solve that problem. Sheesh.

•• Just in case you don't want to eat sugary Jelly Bellies but would like to smell like them, here's a companyproducing a new line of Jelly Belly colognes. They already have some candy-scented colognes. Which brings me to the whole question of the psychology of a person who wants to smell like blueberry muffins. I mean, am I missing something here? What type of suitor would a woman wearing Hot Fudge Sundae cologne attract? I guess someone more interesting than the one attracted to another of their scents, Dirt.

I'll catch up more, later.

Can Chocolate Toothpaste Be Far Behind?

2007-05-22T12:06:00.000-07:00

I'm kinda behind on this story, which is really inexcusable since it's news out of my own back yard. A Tulane University PhD candidate has found that an ingredient in cocoa powder is a better tooth-decay fighter than the old standby, fluoride. Turns out, not just a little better--but a lot.

But just in case people rush out to find a Snickers Bar, the British Dental Association found it necessary to remind people that chocolate bars are also made with sugar, which sort of defeats the purpose.

I say, not if you try some of the absolutely yummy sugar-free chocolates, especially those made without nasty maltitol, that are available today.

The Da Vinci Code (Sort of)

2007-05-18T12:05:00.000-07:00

It's always fun to delve into the food customs of other times, so the book DaVinci's Kitchen: A Secret History of Italian Cuisine, while not actually focusing on DaVinci per se, does have some fascinating food history from 15th- and 16th-century Italy. For example, did you know that the higher your status when invited to dinner, the more likely you were to be seated with your back to the fireplace? Gotta keep that royal "hiney"ess warm, you know. Or that the first cookbook, in the modern sense of the word, was handwritten by Maestro Martino about 1460 and was called Libro de arte coquinaria, or "Book on the Art of Cooking?"

In researching the book, author Dave DeWitt went through Leonardo DaVinci's copious notebooks, looking for food references and even found Leo's salad dressing recipe! He also found DaVinci's Philosophy of Diet, as follows:

Do not eat when you have no appetite, and dine lightly.
Chew well, and whatever you take into you should be well-cooked and of simple ingredients.
He who takes medicine is ill advised.
Beware anger and avoid stuffy air.
Stay standing a while when you get up from a meal.
Make sure you do not sleep at midday.
Let your wine be mixed with water, take little and often, not between meals, not on an empty stomach.
Neither delay nor prolong your visit to the toilet.
If you take exercise, let it not be too strenuous.
Do not lie with your stomach upward and your head downward.
Be well covered at night,and rest your head and keep your mind cheerful.
Avoid wantonness and keep to this diet.

Well, pretty wise, eh? I wonder what role sugar had in the 15th-century Italian diet. Granulated sugar hadn't been invented, so I imagine it was the occasional honey and was a treat. Might be wrong, though. These days, Italian food generally is spelled P-A-S-T-A and is a carb nightmare.

Physicians, Heal Thyselves

2007-05-17T12:04:00.000-07:00

I've waxed poetical numerous times here about my doctor, whom I refer to as MD Lite because, basically, I go to her, tell her what is wrong with me and what I want to do about it, and she orders the test or writes the prescription or whatever and we're done with it. I point out subtle changes in my bloodwork, which she seems to find interesting, and I nod politely when she points to the "exercise pyramid" poster in the exam room and writes me a "prescription" for 1200 low-fat calories a day.

So the 2007 Obesity Report from epocrates was no surprise. A national survey of physicians on the state of health care, the report says American MDs rate obesity as the No. 1 health problem in the country. The culprits, according to the docs, are big portions and lack of exercise.

Now, I have to agree that many restaurant portions could feed a small nation, but the docs are still hung up on the calories in-calories out mantra. Ninety-three percent of the docs believe Weight Watchers is the best weight-loss program, followed by South Beach. You can do WW and SB in a lower-carb way, but both basically focus on fat and calories. At least SB gives a nod to eliminating sugar and simple carbs; WW is flexible enough for you to do it on your own, but doesn't encourage anything other than low-fat.

Health initiatives the MDs think will help: education, cutting trans fats in fast food, reducing availability of sodas in schools, and making overweight people pay higher health premiums.

(Uh. I haven't taken a sick day in about five years. Why the heck should I have to pay higher insurance premiums so my thin, sickly friends can get better treatment?)

Only 13 percent of the physicians acknowledge a genetic component to obesity.

There's more fun and frivolity to be found in the full report.

Off to hang myself from the balcony now. Guess my dangling feet will earn me a few exercise points before I choke.

What Kind of Eater Are You?

2007-05-16T12:03:00.000-07:00

I recently found this interesting post from fitness coach Alice Green about determining what kind of eater you are.

I've talked a lot about my Katrina Evacuation Chocolate Frenzy, as I've come to think about it. I had never been a big chocolate eater and didn't think I was really a stress eater, being a generally laid-back, calm type of person. But as I sat day after day watching my life fall apart on national TV, I wanted chocolate, I wanted lots of it, and I wanted it BAD.

But this was an interesting list of "eating types," and the author contends that our eating type determines how we struggle with food. And that most of us are a combination of types. This all makes a lot of sense to me.

So, what are her types?

The Chaotic Eater. Tends to skip meals, eat without routine, and don't plan. This is NOT me. I'm a by-the-clock eater.
The Unconscious Eater. Isn't tuned in to how much she's eating, tends to eat while doing other things--TV, talking, working. I do have some of this in me.
The Emotional Eater. Uses food to cope with feelings. Often eat a whole package of something before they realize it. Feel powerless around food. Yeah, okay, I've owned up to this one.
The Waste-Not Eater. Hates to see food go to waste so has to finish it off. Nah, I'm not shy about throwing stuff out.
The Refuse-Not Eater. Can't say no when someone invites them out or offers them food whether they want it or not. Eats to make others feel good. Uh....not really, I don't think.
The Restrictive Eater. Always going on one diet or another with a vengeance. Constantly creating lists of "good" and "bad" foods. Vascillate between under-eating, over-eating and bingeing. Obsessive. DING DING DING. Raising hand now.
The Intuitive Eater. I guess this is the one we should all strive to be--conscious of body hunger signals. You know, eats when hungry, stops when not hungry.

It's how to get from Point A to Point B that's the problem.

And That's What I Like About the South

2007-05-15T12:02:00.000-07:00

I grew up with a love-hate relationship with my native South, and over the years it has grown into a love-love relationship as I've stopped being embarrassed by the eccentricity of my native soil and started appreciating its weirdness for what it is.

Take food, for example. I've always said if a Southern cook doesn't know what to do with something, she'll batter it and deep-fry it as sure as I'm sitting here. Thus you have such Southern delicacies as hush-puppies (fried cornbread), deep-fried pickles (don't laugh--these things are yummy), fried pies and fried corn fritters. We, however, will not take credit for fried candy bars and other fair food travesties. That the obesity level in the South is higher than the rest of the country, and how that relates to our proclivity to batter and fry everything, is a topic for another day.

But now there's a new Southern-Fusion twist I'm not so sure about: the Kool-Aid Pickle.

Do 7-11 type stories outside the South have those requisite big jars of pickled pig snouts and other body parts sitting by the checkout counter? Well, the newest thing is giant dills soaked to the gills in a Kool-Aid mix.

Take a gallon of dills and cut them in half. Mix some double-strength Kool-Aid with a pound of sugar--preferably cherry, tropical fruit or strawberry--and soak the pickles in it for at least a week. Slice your pickles and they'll soak up even more flavor.

I suppose this isn't so very different than the making of "bread and butter" sweet pickles, but it just SOUNDS so very bizarre, never mind the infusion of massive amounts of sugar into something as innocuous as a dill pickle.

But the fluorescent-red pickle's kinda cool.

Happy Birthday To Me

2007-05-13T12:01:00.000-07:00

Doesn't this look like one of those "food porn" shots you see on the front of women's magazines (next to all the "5 ways to shed 40 pounds in 5 minutes" story promos)?

It's actually my "birthday cake"--tomorrow's the Big Day Whose Number Shall Not Be Named.

So to splurge I ordered some "Pecan Bark" from Maine Cottage Foods--I'd never tried their low-carb chocolate before--maltitol free and high-fiber. I've always been a fan of the Chocoperfection bars but this is WAY better. And only 1.9 net carbs for a huge chunk. This is now my all-time-favorite LC chocolate. Not cheap but a nice splurge.

Tonight friends are taking me for steak.

Steak and chocolate! Does it get any better?

Boo Hiss Pffffffft

2007-05-11T12:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm just gonna say it straight up: I hate to exercise. I find it boring. I've tried videos, books, my iPod cranked up to peppy music---booorrriinng.

I cannot begin to list all the various and sundry pieces of equipment designed to make exercise FUN! EXCITING! FULFILLING! that have made interesting objects d'art in my life over the years. Well, yes, I can begin to list them. Let's see, there have been a series of stationary bikes--traditional, super-duper, and recumbent. There have been stair steppers, bands, balls and mini tramps. There is currently a dust-covered Gazelle in the corner with quilting fabric piled on the foot rails and a couple of shirts hanging over the handles.

"Take a walk," you say. Well, I could do that. I would probably be a) murdered or b) eaten by mosquitos or c) both, but I could do that. "Walk at the mall," you say. Well, sure, I could do that except the nearest mall is in the 'burbs 45 minutes away and I work 10 hours a day.

So of course I was pleased as punch at the recent reports that exercise doesn't really contribute to weight loss in any significant way, even though I knew that wasn't true for health in general. Now, even that self-lie won't work, as these British doctors have taken it on themselves to say even thin people who don't exercise are borderline obese because they have "hidden fat."

Great. I not only have visible fat but now hidden fat as well.

Okay, guys, help me out here. Anyone with ideas that go beyond "just do it?"

An End to Fat Free Diets!!

2007-05-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

You just gotta laugh at some of the headlines these days. What do you think if you read the above headline? I'd think: "Great! People have finally wised up and realize dietary fat isn't evil!"

But, of course, I'd be quite wrong.

This headline was actually related to new research coming out of Wake Forest University. Researchers have apparently done some knockout-mice research that offers the promise of genetically altering US so we don't suffer from eating that nasty fat.

A "knockout mouse" sounds like a cartoon character, but it's actually a hot thing in genetic research circles. A knockout mouse is one that has had a specific gene or set of genes "knocked out" for research purposes. In this case, the mice had their ACAT2-producing gene removed. The ACAT2 enzyme affects the impact of fat when ingested.

I'm making jabs at this research but it really is quite promising for people with the predisposition to develop atherosclerosis, regardless of whether that atherosclerosis is actually caused by a particular kind of fat.

On the other hand, it could just open the door for people to think they have a "free pass" when it comes to doughnuts or other trans-fatty foods that also contain a lot of sugar and simple carbs. Then folks won't have atherosclerosis but it sure won't have an impact on diabetes, obesity or overall health.

Knockout THOSE mice, why don't they?

Gene Genies

2007-05-09T11:58:00.000-07:00

Yo dog, check it out. (Sorry--too much American Idol and if you didn't recognize it, that was my Randy Jackson impression.)

There's a new book out within the past few days that I find quite interesting. It's called Rethinking Thin: The New Science of Weight Loss--and the Myths and Realities of Dieting, and is written by New York Times reporter Gina Kolata.

The New York Times ran an excerpt yesterday, and it's quite fascinating.

Basically it talks about some studies with which I was unfamiliar, and a few I'd heard of, studying the genetic link to obesity. I always knew it was strong--take one look at my family and that wouldn't be up for any debate. But it seems to be even stronger than I thought.

Now, I should have this caveat up front: I don't think genetics means losing weight is hopeless. It means losing weight will be harder for some people, and it means maintaining weight loss will be harder still. Study upon study has shown that most people who lose weight gain it back. Here's a big reason why.

Back in 1959, a Rockefeller University researcher named Jules Hirsch conducted a groundbreaking study on obese people. He wondered whether, when obese people lost a lot of weight, their fat cells shrunk or disappeared. He took eight people with lifelong obesity, put them on a 600-calorie liquid diet, had each of them lose on average 100 pounds, and then looked back at their fat cells. He was satisfied--the formerly obese folks' fat cells hadn't disappeared but they had shrunk to a "normal" size.

He sent them all on their merry ways, but then was horrified that they all regained the weight (duh, how many went back home to 600-calorie liquid diets). Anyway, they repeated the study and got the same results every time, but in subsequent studies also monitored diet, activity, psychiatric conditions, and metabolic rate.

Ding ding ding. Every obese person who lost weight measured metabolic rates comparable not with normally thin people but with people who were starving. They also had a psychiatric syndrome called "semi-starvation neurosis" that had been observed in people of normal weight who had been starved. Anxiety, depression, secreting of food, binging.

The excerpt in the Times notes other studies but the bottom line is this: there's an 80% chance that if your parents are obese you will be too. Is it impossible to lose weight? Of course not--there are so many of you out there who've lost lots of weight and have kept it off with a low-carb lifestyle, particularly.

But point is, you who have kept it off have also kept your weight on the front burner. As the book says, "there were a few who did not get fat again, but they made staying thin their life's work."

Which, I suppose, is one of the reasons we write blogs and read blogs and stay focused on weight and health issues. And because of the low carb diet's satiety factor, which is I think its biggest advantage of all, I wonder if that changes the equation any.

So many questions. What do you think?

Consumer Retorts

2007-05-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

What a surprise!

"Rating the Diets," touts the new issue of Consumer Reports. "Plans that work best. How good are the latest diet books? Plus 8 simple ways to lose weight (& 3 to avoid)."

Oh boy, I know this is gonna be good.

Let's see. Let's rank the 8 most-tested diet plans, from best to worst:

1. The Volumetrics Eating Plan, by Barbara Rolls. (basically, fill up on bulky calorie-bereft foods to find satiety)
2. Weight Watchers (low fat)
3. Jenny Craig (low fat, eat their food)
4. Slim Fast (low fat, eat their meal substitutes)
5. eDiets. (low fat, unless you use their website to follow any other plan of your choice--for a fee--including low carb)
6. The Zone (equal carbs, fats, protein)
7. The Ornish Diet (ultra low fat)
8--ta da--worst, and the only diet to get a negative rating:
Dr. Atkins New Diet Revolution

Here is what the ~~brainwashed drones~~ expert panel says about Atkins: "There’s growing evidence that dieters aren’t as hungry on Atkins as on some other diets. But many find it too restrictive, so long-term adherence is below average; long-term weight loss is average. Its nutritional profile is far outside dietary guidelines." In their ratings chart, Atkins received a below-average overall rating, with a "worst" rating for nutritional content.

And what are the 8 strategies that work, and 3 that don't?
1. Eat breakfast. (okay here)
2. Choose (and limit) your fats. (sigh)
3. Eat sparingly. (and strive for anorexia!)
4. Exercise (yeah, yeah, whatever)
5. Consider cutting carbs. (Who. Wha-huh? They just ripped Atkins. Methinks they speak with forked tongue--with some sauce on the side. But I digress...)
6. Fill up on low-density foods. (Yeah,pile on that rice and be hungry again in 30 minutes)
7. Weigh often (I've tried three times a day and it's frustrating)
8. Eat a monotonous diet--too much variety stimulates your appetite. (oh.kay.)

The three "not-so-workable" strategies:
1. Diet drugs. (I'm with them here.)
2. "Angel" and "Devil" foods--seeing any food as evil ~~sugar~~ rat poison or perfect.
3. The glycemic index. Why? Because it tempts you to make foods "evil" and you don't know how to count mixed foods.

ARRRGGGHHH (sound of hair being ripped from scalp). Now, that won't confuse folks, will it? Talk about "Junkfood Science."

Feast and Famine

2007-05-08T11:47:00.000-07:00

Feast and Famine and Sugar, oh my!

A couple of interesting pieces from the London Daily Mail that there are symptoms of famine in the UK.

Apparently, the number of hospital patients diagnosed with malnutrition has risen by 44 percent in the past five years--4,000 cases last year alone. Experts estimate that the real number is more like 3.6 million.

In the worst cases, the symptoms of malnutrition are pot bellies, wasted limbs and emaciated bodies. But the millions not at that point are more likely to be obese, lethargic and suffering vitamin and mineral deficiencies.

The cause, experts say, is a growing reliance on fast food coupled with binge drinking.

It's really a pretty scary article.

Now, think of it in terms of this piece about how the amount of sugar in so-called "healthy products" has doubled in the past 30 years. Picked out as the worst offenders? Breakfast cereals, so-called "whole-grain" breads, and soups. Special K cereal--touters of big "eat us twice and day and take off the weight" campaigns--went from 9.6 grams of sugar in 1978 to, currently, 17 grams of sugar. And that's not to mention their "Vanilla Almond" and other flavors with extra sugar. The article points out that while the UK government and watchdog groups have focused on the amount of salt in foods and on the table, the spiraling use of sugar has gone unchecked.

And so have the rates of diabetes and obesity and insulin resistance and all other sorts of good things.

Boo-Boos

2007-05-07T11:46:00.000-07:00

Warning--this is just me whining and has no relation to diet. Just in the interest of full disclosure so you don't get to the end of this and say, "What does that have to do with weight loss or health?"

Remember the old disaster movie spoof "Airplane?" Leslie Nielsen's character, puffing on a dozen cigarettes at once, says something like "Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit smoking."

Well, looks like I picked the wrong day to start training for a marathon--or to walk, for that matter. See, I have a couple of boo-boos.

It all started at Home Depot, as so many of my personal disaster stories have since Hurricane Katrina. Last week, a plumber told me my bathroom sink leak couldn't be repaired--I needed to replace the 1930s-era faucet set in my 1900-era house, but I probably couldn't find anything to fit so I'd need a new sink too, and then once the 1930s pedestal sink came out I'd need to refloor the bathroom because the tile wouldn't fit around a different-sized base.

Okay.

I search the Internet for the rare faucet set with a 12-inch spread, highly resenting that I am not independently wealthy, surrounded by servants and know things like what a widespread faucet set is. And I find a few 12" ones from restoration sites but they're outrageously expensive.

So I go sink shopping. I find a nice beadboard white small vanity that will fit in the tiny bathroom and has a larger base so I don't have to refloor the room. A nice marble vanity top and sink. An old-fashioned looking brushed nickel faucet set. And home I go.

Superwoman! I decide to unload the car, having no handy-dandy males standing around flexing their muscles and offering to help.

I manage the 75-pound vanity up the brick stairs with much huffing, puffing and rest-stops along the way.

I pick up the marble vanity top and sink. Hm. About 40 pounds, I'd guess. Piece of cake. I wobble up the steps, into my entry hall and...

WTH?

I'm lying face down on the floor with my face in the marble sink, my shoes have flown off in multiple directions, my body is twisted in some strange formation. The sink isn't broken--its impact was absorbed, for better or worse, by the middle finger of my right hand. After the immediate shock passed and I managed to get myself upright, I realized the nail of my finger had already, in less than a minute, turned a lovely shade of turquoise that just happened, coincidentally, to match my shirt.

As the day and night passed, new maladies arose. A badly bruised and hyperextended foot. Big-ass bruise on leg and arm, back spasms. Oh and did I mention my finger HURTS LIKE HELL? It's now black and so swollen I'm expecting it to shortly split like a hot dog in the microwave.

Oh well, at least the sink didn't break.

Buying Local---Not

2007-05-06T11:46:00.000-07:00

Well, I tried. I tried to be a good citizen in my weekly shopping today. But the barriers were too overwhelming.

Barrier #1 is 81 years old and goes by the name of Mom. She wants Yoplait fruity yogurt. She wants Special K Vanilla Almond. She wants Blue Bell Cherry-Vanilla ice cream. I cannot buy those things at Whole Foods or the farmer's market. So off I go to Sprawl-Mart for $125 in Senior & Stubborn Foods. But I refuse to buy Sprawl-Mart produce--here, at least, it's really abysmal, nasty looking stuff.

So next I go to Whole Foods and run into Barrier #2. The only locally produced product in the entire store was strawberries. Now, theoretically, I could live on strawberries and splenda and Kefir. But instead I bought grapes from Chile, onions from California and managed to get the rest of my produce from Texas, which is at least not a half a world away.

So I need to make a big farmer's market run on Tuesday, which is the day the Green Market sets up in the parking lot of the building I work in. Maybe I can eat something local that isn't red with little black seeds.

Shelley Winters Syndrome

2007-05-04T11:44:00.000-07:00

If you have ever struggled with a weight problem, have you ever felt as if you had to be 10 times better than everyone else just to prove that you're "worthy?" To prove you're good enough to "compensate" for your size?

It's the Shelley Winters syndrome. In one of my all-time favorite disaster pics, Shelley Winters plays the fat lady stuck in the Poseidon Adventure (1972 version) after the ship hits the iceberg, turns upside down and six or seven of our fair heroes follow fallen priest Gene Hackman to their eventual rescue. The survivors are all "types." You have the fallen priest, the waifish girl, the gritty ex-cop with the reformed-hooker wife, the old man, the child, and the fat woman--which is where our fair Shelley comes in.

As they climb and climb to escape the rapidly water-filling ship, they make constant allowances for Shelley so she can get through the tight openings and manage to climb through the physical challenges. Shelley feels bad and is always saying how they're having to risk themselves for the fat lady. Then, finally, they come to a quandary--someone is going to have to swim underwater through a long flooded corridor carrying a rope so the rest can pull themselves through. Wait! says Shelley. I can do it! I once was a champion swimmer! Never mind she hasn't tread water in 40 years and 60 pounds.

But she does it, by gosh. She jumps in, swims and swims, secures the line, and then, of course, promptly dies of a heart attack. She has sacrificed her life to prove she was worth saving.

The reason I even began thinking about it was from reading this BBC piece about ethical dilemma questions. Two of the four questions involve sacrificing fat people to save other, presumably thin, people. I found the questions mildly offensive, but it did really make me start thinking about how often we sacrifice ourselves out of some misguided attempt to make people like us/think we're "good people"/think we're worthy of something.

How hard and how often do you try to "prove yourself?"

Making Yogurt

2007-05-03T10:19:00.000-07:00

So, after our discussions yesterday--and thanks, Tess, for the yogurt tips!--here is the Four Corners Diet recipe for making your own yogurt or kefir with nothing more complicated than a glass jar. The yield is 4 servings; serving size is 1 cup.

Ingredients:
1 quart whole milk
1 ounce starter culture

1. Purchase your first live-culture kefir or yogurt from the grocery store. Make sure it is plain, with no fruit or sugar added, and make sure it says "contains live cultures" (not "made with live cultures"). Take out about 2 tablespoons to use as your starter.

2. Place a bottle of milk in a large pot containing enough water to cover half the bottle. If you buy your milk in a carton or plastic jug, transfer it to a clean glass bottle.

3. Open the lid a little to allow for expansion of the liquid. Bring water to a boil and simmer for five minutes. You have now pasteurized your milk. Allow milk to cool to room temperature.

4. Add 2 Tbsp of kefir or yogurt to each quart of cooled milk and put the bottle top on. Mix the starter with the milk. Place bottle on top of fridge and leave for at least 24 hours. In cool climates you may need 36-48 hours.

5. You have yogurt or kefir! Save out 2 Tbsp for your next batch.

Just FYI--you can also make it with skim milk or 2% but it will be thinner. Two-thirds of the milk sugars/lactose will be removed by the culturing process. Homemade yogurt will keep up to two weeks in the refrigerator.

Nutritional info per 8 ounce serving, made w/ whole milk:
135 calories
4 grams effective carbs (11 g total)
8.1 grams fat
5 g saturated fat
2.3 g monounsaturated fat
.3 g polyunsaturated fat
33 mg cholesterol
8g protein
291 mg calcium
33 mg magnesium
120 mg sodium
370 mg potassium
.1 mg iron
228 mg phosphorus
2.3 mg vitamin c

Intestinal Fortitude

2007-05-02T10:18:00.000-07:00

So despite my rant a couple of days ago about being bored with my diet, I have to agree with Livin' La Vida Low Carb buddy Jimmy Moore's questioning of the intestinal fortitude of anyone who gets bored eating low carb. Sound like a contradiction? Not really.

I have a character flaw, you see. My name is Suzique and I am a tad obsessive. Well, okay, more than a tad. Suzique needs something to obsess over, diet-wise, and once her eating plan becomes too automatic and easy, she need to shake things up a bit.

Which is why she did some low-carb reading and decided to have a crack at the Four Corners Diet, which is the re-named, updated GO-Diet devised in the late '90s by Drs Jack Goldberg and Karen O'Mara.

If there was ever a diet designed to cater to a middle-aged obsessive, uh, woman of stature, shall we say, this is it. I can count and count and count to my heart's content. I can devise myriad Fitday charts and goals to track. I'm as happy as a melamine-fed pig at a quarantined hog farm (can you tell I'm still really PO'd about this latest federal bunglefest?).

Anyway, the four corners of the table on which this food-happy eating plan stands are:

Corner #1) Low carbs. Limit net carbs to 50 or fewer a day. 50 grams of carbs?? That sounds like a TON. Can I lose weight on 50g a day? Can my 50g of carbs come from Blue Bell ice cream? Well, no. Because part of this #1 Corner is a tad more specific and bans the usual suspects (thankfully): sugar, starches, etc. And a max of 15 net carbs per meal.

Corner #2) High monounsaturated fat. Drs. GO tiptoe cautiously around the issue of saturated fat and don't find themselves willing to go all-out and give sat-fat their blessing. So the program asks not that you limit fat intake at all--the more, the merrier--but that 50% of your fat intake come from monounsaturated fats. Between my great fondness for Cardini Original Caesar salad dressing and anything drenched in olive oil, this will not be a problem.

Corner #3) High fiber, to the tune of a minimum 25-30 grams a day. And I may mean "tune," literally, y'know? Do any of you add flax to your foods? I figure I will snack on a couple of yummy Chocoperfection Chocolate Bars a day, at 14g of fiber each and 2 net carbs, and that requirement will be taken care of, at least until I'm hauled away in the paddywagon to the poor house because I've spent my mortgage payments on the not-so-cheap Chocoperfection Bars (although the best prices I've found on them are at Netrition, fyi).

Corner #4) Pharmafoods. Now, this is an interesting corner to me given my interest in functional foods, though there are still lots of questions about the validity of their claims. The Four Corners plan calls for some form ofprobiotics every day, plus five servings of vegetables per day, as many as possible from the "pharmafoods" group, which they say are foods whose nutritional punch is greater than the sum of their micronutrients: dark green vegetables, nuts and seeds, high-fiber low-sugar fruits such as berries and melon, broccoli, onions, peppers, etc.

Now, if you've stuck with me this far, you'll finally get to the thing I really want to talk about, which is yogurt, namely full fat yogurt without sugar added. Apparently there is a consensus among low carb "experts," thatyogurt carbs aren't "real" carbs as long as the yogurt contains live cultures. (This supposedly also is true of buttermilk but since I don't know what to do with buttermilk other than make cornbread, I don't care.)

Note I said "CONTAINS" live cultures and not "MADE WITH" live cultures. If your yogurt says it's made with live cultures, chances are they aren't live any more. So look for the word "contains." Said cultures feed on the lactose in yogurt, rendering it a non-carb. What's left, the whey, can be strained off the top.

Or you can enjoy kefir, which I have trouble finding, or something like Fage Total, which is a strained Greek yogurt that has 7g of carbs per 8-ounce serving. I added a little Torani Sugar-Free Irish Cream syrup to it this morning and it was quite the treat.

So, low-carbers, what's your take on yogurt?

It's a 'Wonder'-ful World

2007-05-01T10:18:00.000-07:00

I collect novelty cookbooks. As I scan over my shelves, I find such delights as The Nancy Drew Cookbook, Gilligan's Island Cookbook, Are You Hungry Tonight--Elvis' Favorite Recipes, and one of my favorites, the Mike Douglas Cookbook: Recipes Made Famous on the Mike Douglas Television Show.

OK, I'm showing my age here. I actually REMEMBER the Mike Douglas Show.

Anyway, it was with delight from a collector's viewpoint -- and horror from a dietary viewpoint -- that I heard the news that white, squishy Wonder Bread has released, in honor of its 85th birthday, the Wonder Bread Cookbook. You can buy it at Amazon for a discount if you also purchase The Twinkies Cookbook.

The Wonder Bread books touts itself as "an inventive and unexpected recipe collection," which just begs one to ask: so, what's in it? Well, there are:

• Good Morning Wonder Bread, with breakfast recipes such as Pigs in Wonder Blankets.

• Wonder Bites, with appetizers such as Wonder Beef Cups

• Wonder Sandwiches, such as Grilled Baloney (sic) and Wonder

• Baked Wonder, including Sweetened Tomato and Wonder Casserole

• Sweet and Fruity Wonder, including the Wonder Easter Egg Sandwich

• Wonder Bread Pudding and Crepes, including Wonder Caramel Apple Bread Pudding

• It's a Wonder, an unidentifiable category with such delights as Creamed Fish in Wonder Patty Shells and Pilgrim Pies.

It is a wonder.

I'll leave you instead with a selection from the Mike Douglas Cookbook:

Lady Bird Johnson's Spinach Souffle
2 packages frozen, chopped spinach
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup flour
Milk or cream as needed (approx 1-1/2 cup)
1 cup grated Cheddar cheese
Dash nutmeg
1 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
1 Tbsp sugar (Splenda hadn't been invented yet)
1 tsp grated onion
5 eggs, separated

Preheat oven to 375. Thaw spinach. Drain. Reserve liquid. Add enough milk to liquid to make 2 cups.

Melt butter over low heat. Add flour and blend well. Cook 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add milk gradually, stirring constantly. Cook until thick. Add spinach and remaining ingredients except eggs. Cook for or five minutes over low heat, stirring to prevent scorching. Remove from heat. Beat egg yolks until thick. Add equal amount of spinach mixture and blend well. Add to first spinach mixture.

Beat egg whites until stiff but not dry. Fold spinach mixture into egg whites. Pour into greased 2-quart casserole. Set in pan containing 1 inch of hot water and bake 40-50 minutes or until table knife inserted 2 inches from the edge comes out clean.
Serves 6.

Shaking Things Up

2007-04-30T10:16:00.000-07:00

Do you have a low boredom threshold?

I sure do. I was on the Atkins plan for six of the past eight months, and did well with it but got boooorrrredd. So I switched to South Beach, but mostly maintained with that and besides being booorrrreeedd, I am not ready to be in maintenance so the past two months have been kinda "waisted."

So, yesterday I got out my dogeared copy of Jonny Bowden's fabulous Living the Low Carb Life, browsing for something to relieve my dietary boredom.

I should note here that it's not that I get bored with the food I'm eating. I get bored with whatever STRUCTURE of plan I'm following. I succeed best when I can get somewhat obsessed with whatever I'm doing. When my obsessiveness wanes, so does my attention span. This is not necessarily a good thing but it is a character trait I seem to have had my whole life and I figure I might as well use it to my advantage instead of letting it consign me to a life in the Lane Bryant lane, if you know what I mean.

So, I start reading again, and I'm struck both by what a fabulous book this is--my buddy Jimmy Moore has called this a must-read for low carbers and I have to agree--but also by how many little variations there are on low-carbing.

This time, I started zoning in on the GO-Diet, the Goldberg-O'Mara diet plan, which has recently been reformulated as the Four Corners plan. It's a low-carb plan with its own little twist, has the Jonny Bowden seal of approval, and sounds like it might be something to keep me obsessively entertained for a while. I've ordered the book, and will report on it in a few days when it arrives. (Whatever did I do before Amazon Prime came along!?)

Cancer Cautions

2007-04-27T10:14:00.000-07:00

Always, and I mean ALWAYS take these kinds of stories with a grain of salt, but it's always interesting to see what people are writing about when you see a screaming headline like The top five cancer-causing foods.

In this case, it's actually quite interesting from a low-carb standpoint.

The "worst foods" list was based on the following "worst-offenders" in terms of links to cancer:

#1 SUGAR. And with it, refined simple carbs such as refined grains. Sugars feed tumors. And man oh man is it addictive.

#2 PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED OILS, aka Trans Fats. I thought this list made an interesting comment about food labels and trans fats. Ever wonder at how quickly companies were able to comply with the "no trans fat" rules? The good old FDA deigns that anything .5 g or less is the same as 0 as far as labeling is concerned. So food manufacturers are simply changing portion sizes to be .5 so they can claim to be "trans fat free."

#3 ACRYLAMIDES, cancer-causing agents produced when starchy foods are grilled or fried.

#4 NITRITE AND NITRATES, carcinogens added to processed meats such as hot dogs or bacon that acts as a preservative and gives food that "fresh" reddish color.

Given those four elements, then, the site lists these as the worst offenders in cancer-causing foods:

1. Hot dogs. The Cancer Prevention Coalition recommends that children not eat more than 12 hots dogs a month....I'm sorry but that's a LOT of hot dogs. Do kids eat that many hot dogs? Anyway, look for hot dogs without sodium nitrate in the list of ingredients.

2. Processed deli meats and bacon. You can also find uncured bacon now; again, look for sodium nitrate and if you see it, walk away.

3. Doughnuts. Trans fat, white flour, sugar, acrylamides. Need I say more?

4. French fries. Sigh. Trans fat, simple carb, acrylamides.

5. Chips/crackers/cookies. Trans fat, white flour, sugar. See the note above about serving size. Apparently, that's how Girl Scout cookies got around the trans fat problem this year.

Interesting stuff!