Wednesday, January 9, 2008

What's in a Toe?

So, how attached are you to your toes? Or, rather, to having only five of them? Would you be willing to have six toes on one foot to reach your ideal weight?

There was an interesting story on CBS News--one of those interminable New Year's weight-loss things--about how far people, primarily women, would be willing to go to reach that elusive magic scale number. The survey was done for Fitness magazine.

So here are some of the results.

* About 25 percent would spend a week in jail.
* 85 percent would be happy to squeeze an extra toe into their (wider) shoes.
* 23 percent would shave their heads.
* 51 percent prefer Keira Knightley's body over Queen Latifah's.
* 50 percent would rather lose 20 pounds than live to be 100.

Now, okay. To weigh a nice svelte number that I haven't seen since, oh, about sixth grade, I would spend a week in the slammer. Does that include laundry duty, community showers and new girlfriends named Big Bertha, I wonder? I would take an extra toe--heck, an extra toe on each foot. Who cares, really? Bunions and sandals are poor bedfellows anyway. Yep, I would shave my head. I might have curly hair when it grows back, after all, and I could pick a new haircolor.

Hmmm...yeah, I'd probably rather look like Keira than Latifah, but I'd rather look like Latifah than myself, so...whatever.

Now, the last one gives pause. I absolutely would not give up living to 100 for 20 pounds. 20 pounds? Let's see...fat and 99 or fat-minus-20-pounds and dead? You do the math.

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