Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Crimes Against Nature

My parents owned a clothing store when I was a child, and it became a tradition every year at Easter that they would decorate the store window with an appropriate display, including a stuffed Easter Bunny, which I would exproprite for my own enjoyment. Later, of course, we'd dye Easter Eggs and there would always be an appropriately large assortment of candy in the old Easter basket.

Always including Peeps, of course, the little marshmallow-y chicks dyed an unnatural shade of yellow with a mysteriously crunchy outer coat.

This year, there's a couple of new Peeps in town. One is an unnatural shade of green for St. Paddy's Day, no thank you. The other is sugar free. Now, as an adult, I agree with Minneapolis food writer Al Sicherman that Peeps are somewhat a "crime against nature" regardless of what color they are. But the sugar-free peeps are even more criminal.

Apparently, they're lacking the crunchy coating and, as an added insult, in addition to the Splenda they proudly tout on the front of the packaging, they are sweetened with maltitol, isomalt and sorbitol--the Great Trifecta of gastric distress.

Think I'll stick with my own favorite candy, the low-carb, high-fiber Chocoperfection bars. Wonder if they'd consider making a Chocoperfection Easter Egg...

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